God, your pissin me off...
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Posted on Jul 16, 2006 06:13 pm
dbmasters
Administrator Since: Apr 03, 2002
Ya know, I've always been the religious sort, always put faith in God and God has always come through for me...maybe not the way I wanted, but in the big picture it's always been for the best.
This week my mom was given 6 months to live...she is 59 years old, turns 60 next week. She has breast cancer. Had breast cancer 5 years ago, they got it early, got it out. Around Christmas last year she started seeing double, getting dizzy and such so she went to the doctor, they found the breast cancer returned, only this time on her brain and brainstem, in her blood and in her lung. The last two weeks she was hospitalized with complications and a few days ago was moved to a nursing home...at 59 years old.
She has three grand daughters my two girls ages 5 and 8 and my younger sisters daughter, age 11. My mom has never been a heavy drinker, never smoked, always was a good person (well, she had resentment toward me for some reason, but good to everybody else) always went to church and gave to charities...money and time. Why did God foresake my mother...and father for that matter. My father is a mess. I have had many talks with him, he's losing his wife...WAY to early, just as they start talking about what they are going to do when he retires...
While, from a selfish stance I will never get the answers I want regarding her resentment toward me, which hurts, she will never get to see her grandchildren grow up, graduate, marry, etc...just seems horribly unfair for somebody that has served God so unselfishly and happily.
I want some f-in answers, God, and I want them now, whether her and I got along or not, this hurts, and this hurts bad.
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Jul 16, 2006 07:59 pm dB-
God can hear you but he wont respond in a way you can understand or that will make it all better right away..(and you know this). Im glad you still have your faith- and you have every right to be upset with him- EVERY RIGHT man.
about the brest cancer- dude, im really really sorry that happened, i can feel your pain man. about 5 years ago, my aunt anne (who raised me) was passed away after having a similar thing going on. about around 94-95 she was diagnosed with breast cancer- they got it out, 2 years later it came back in her bone marrow.. after transplats and numorus surgorys it was gone again. I can remember vividly her 40th birthday party "a celebration of life"... i was so happy she was still around- she gave me my first guitar, helped me with everything i needed to get through my rough teenaged years. 2 years later again it came back. in her brain, her lungs, all over her body. she held on for a year or so.. im actually crying right now because i can remember the shape she was in, how the medicine effected her body and her mind. but she could still remember my name- which to this day means i know how much she really loved me... about 1 month before my first tour she passed.
God works in mysterious ways man.. if she would have passed while i was on the road.. man i dont know what i would have done. she was the biggest inspiration in my life, musically and personally..
My faith at that point was gone.. and it wasnt until last year.. actually a year ago TOMORROW to be specific- she came to me in a dream (and i dont have dreams.. havent since i was a child) and it was the most real dream ever. she let me know why things had happened since she passed and what i was supposed to do. I woke up and just had the greatest conversation with the Lord. It happened to make me stronger and to realize how important life really is.
Anne Stephen was 43 years old, had a husband, 3 sons, and raised my other cousin and I. She was everyones mom.. the keystone of our family. I miss her deeply and that experience was the first thing i thought of when reading your post.
I hope you havent taken this offensivly- i will be praying for you brother! the lord loves you and will explain everything to you over time.. you just have to keep your eyes and ears open brother. If you need to talk to someone whos been where you are please email me and i will give you my cell # where you can call me at 24/7 if you need to talk or vent. I am here for you man- please dont give up on the Lord- hes not giving up on you man. God Bless YOU and YOUR FAMILY.
Jul 16, 2006 08:48 pm Thank you very much for your prayers, support and understanding. Sounds like you have walked a road amazingly similar to the road I am on.
I am going to visit my mom tomorrow, and I'm scared. Last time I saw her she was bald, bruised up from all the needles and very out-of-it. Going into and out of la-la-land periodically, but, she did know who I was, remembered my wife and children, just had no sense of time or anything like that...very sad.
Seems like a very undignified way to let somebody leave the world after living a respectable life.
Thanks again, your story made me cry...again...been doing a lot of that lately...
Jul 16, 2006 09:20 pm dude- I mean it you need anything just give me a call (please erase this number as soon as you get it so its not just posted on the internet.. know what i mean?)
you need ANYTHING i am a phone call away- any time of day. everything will be ok man... God bless..
(edit)
Noize2uCzar of MidiAdministrator
Since: Apr 04, 2002
Jul 16, 2006 09:38 pm Ok, you know my faith can waiver at times. It probably always will. But you also know I do believe in a higher power, him, her or whatever that may be. Is out there and watching over the flock. Guiding us all, taking some before some of us judge would be their time. But it is all part of something we cannot control. The taking part has happened all my life. And to me it would seem those whom I have felt closest to were taken in the most undeserving and tragic way. And each time it happened, I would swear there was no god because he could never let this happen. That was a time when I felt invincable, and thought we all were. My father, mother, my best and dearest friends. I cant even count on both hands and feet the number of very close friends that have been taken in my lifetime. But the one that rang throughout my head, and the thought of never left was a girl I was deeply in love with. Although we never expressed it as boyfriend and girlfriend we both had been there time and again for each other. The last time, I was not there. She locked herself in her apartment, thinking no one cared and took her own life. I cried for weeks after. I could not even look to her parents house which was out my back door without swearing to the lord and asking why he had done this. Vicki was only 18 years old, I was 21.
Years later, after seeing so much more foolish death. I began to think again as always, why would god let this happen. Why did he choose some, and not others. You know very well of my rocky past, and the road I was going down. Eventually it was the thoughts of the past that convinced me to take a differant turn.
I know this doesnt make a lot of sense, but in my head it was god who would not let me forget. It was god who made me cry every time I would see her picture, everytime I would hear her name. That was his way of trying to tell me to get off that road and take another path. I do believe god is the reason I am still alive today.
We may not like the decisions he makes, but I am sure he always has a reason. It was at that turning point I realized maybe he is taking them to help him watch over us. Why else would the thought of Vicki never leave my head. And why else would she always be in my thoughts at the worst times of my life, when I would be wishing for a way out. As sappy as it sounds, maybe she is my gaurdian angel. Someone to help him look over me.
Now I dont look at someones death the same anymore. Yes it is still painfull to watch, I honestly dont know how I will act when the next one dear to me is being taken. But hopefully god will help me find the way to be strong.
I know it is your girls who you must be strong for now. You dont need to hide your anger, and fear from them. They will see it eventually, and hopefully you will know when the time is right. If you still believe, and I know you do. Maybe he is preparing the gaurdian angel for your girls.
Stupid as it sounds, that may be the very reason for you to be strong enough to make it through this.
I know I've just been rambling. And I stared at this post for several hours before I could start to write. I didnt even know what I was going to write. But that is what came out.
Again, this house is praying for your family, and you know we'll all be here for you, no matter when or what.
Paul
zekthedeadcowEat Spam before it eats YOU!!!Member
Since: May 11, 2002
Jul 16, 2006 09:52 pm I'll start by saying I don't know how it feels. And I'm really bad at these situations. I only remotely know the suiffering of cancer because heart, automobile, bullet and gravity related health problems tend to plague my family.
As long as she can love she is connected to God. (1John 4:7) Anything that is good is connectd to God. We don't like the final outcome of our life but it is something that we all will face. We should face it with all that we have that is good, even if the only thing we have to offer is Love... and I'm sure we have more to offer than that.
Jul 16, 2006 10:29 pm First of all, dB, I give you my condolences for your sad situation. However I am happy to see that all of you have the faith in the Lord. I have been through some rough times myself, but you just can't blame God. This happens to all of us, its hard to deal with things that you cannot control. I will pray for you as well dB.
cruxTypo SzarMember
Since: Jul 04, 2002
Jul 16, 2006 10:57 pm I saw this post this morning with no replies, i was pretty scared to respond coz i didnt know if u wanted to just vent or anything, but all i wanna say is i feel u and no matter wat high powers r out there or any of that stuff but im sure ull pull through, u have a right to be angry, so be angry and get it all out.
Kaos62Kaos is only a form of insanityMember
Since: Feb 03, 2005
Jul 16, 2006 11:43 pm dB - I will be the first to admit I am not a great believer in religions, but that does not mean I do not believe in actions of a higher power. We are all on a road which is filled with predestin and free will choices.
My heart goe out to you and your family at this troubled time. Shed your anger by the means necessary and do not be afraid to let your daughters see you cry and being afraid as they will only gain your strength through this.
Use your faith and family to keep strong through these darkened times.
RigsbyUltra MagnusMember
Since: Nov 13, 2004
Jul 17, 2006 12:10 am dB, that's awful, my very best to you and your family.
cooloFrisco's Most UnderratedMember
Since: Jan 28, 2003
Jul 17, 2006 12:49 am db, my heart and prayers go out to you and your famimly. Sincerely.
Izzy Dutch'The Flying Dutchman'Member
Since: Jan 11, 2006
Jul 17, 2006 04:05 am I know you're pain.. My mom who is 50 got diagnosed with breastcancer last year and went thru surgery and got heavy chemo. It runs strongly in her family. At the moment she's got a lot pain in her bones and a scan has been made last week to see if there are possibly any spreadings. It could also be from the pills she takes (it's a known side effect) and we hope it is cause then she can just get other pills. We'll get the results in early August so the waiting is pretty long. The thing that gets us going is just having faith and staying positive.
I'm wishing you and you're family the best in this.. bless you where you need the most.
Jul 17, 2006 05:23 am Izzy, man, I wish you well and pray for you and yours, it's a tough road we are on, full of some real hope, some false hope and lots of pain.
I really appreciate everybody's comments and well wishes. My mom turns 60 on Thursday, and I am not sure what to do or how to handle it...I just know I am glad she is in a nursing home that is closer to my house than the hospital was. I wish she could just go home and die in her home, but that would be much too hard for dad. In the nursing home she gets the care she needs, and the cousin of my brother in law is in the nursing home management business, so I know she is in a good one, not one of those nightmare-homes you see exposed on TV news shows for being mean to the people in them.
I have never looked at God as a micro-manager, someone who watches every little thing that goes on in his huge creation. While the Bible does say that "not a bird falls from the sky" without him knowing, I have just never held that belief. I have always felt he more or less starts the ball rolling and let's his laws of nature take their course.
One thing I have always had a problem with in religion (I am a Christian, but like many, have my own twist) is how people should praise God for all the good that happens, but conversely not blame him for the bad...seems he gets a bias playing field. Whatever the reason, I know (or hope) that it will make sense at some point, but right now, I see no positives in it at all other than mom going to a better place and being free of pain.
It just doesn't seem right, and doesn't seem fair, I am angry as hell and am really having a hard time getting over it. My kids and niece will not have a grandmother at a very young age, my grandma is still here, and as a parent should never have to bury a child...and husband should not have to bury a wife this young...it's just incredibly unfair.
Given the fact World War III is afoot, I feel sort of selfish even whining about this.
Jul 17, 2006 06:54 am I am VERY SORRY for your pain.
Not knowing what to do and feeling helpless is a very painfull feeling,and Christ understands this and will be there for you and your Mother.
I hope this prayer helps.
My life is a gift of God given,not in years,but a day at a time.Today is the day the Lord has made for me,and He planned it to be the most important day of my life.
Yesterday is gone,never to return.I must not worry about it,but leave it in the hands of God.Tomorrow and all that it holds is God's secret and its coming is not assured.
Only today is mine.Each day,arranged by God with infinite wisdom and goodness is His gift,His act of love for me.In thanksgiving I will offer Him every day the gift of myself - my prayers,works,joys and sufferings.
Amen.
Ken Sutton.
TallChapAnswer:On a good day, lipstick.Member
Since: Jun 24, 2004
Jul 17, 2006 09:44 am My heart goes out to you, dB-Wan. Not a nice place to be.
I lost my mother to cancer in 1999, my father in law in 2004, and my mother-in-law is going through chmo right now. I know how tough it is.
I've gone on record before about faith, so I won't repeat it all. Suffice to say, your faith will go a long way in helping you out in these troubling times.
As someone raised in a spiritualist household, I find comfort in my faith in these circumstances.
Hang in there, dB-Wan. If you need to vent, you know where to find me/all of us.
BeerHunterwww.TheLondonProject.caMember
Since: Feb 07, 2005
Jul 17, 2006 10:13 am Hi db,
I too stared at this post for some time not knowing how to respond. I know exactly how your are feeling as I have gone through this myself. I lost my wife to cancer 6 years ago (she was only 30). I still have a hard time understanding why life has to be so cruel.
A lesson that I have learned is to always "try" and stay positive. Of course this is one of the most difficult things to do at this time in your life. You asked, "Why did God foresake my mother" but in keeping positive one could be thankful to have the time that you will have together. I know it sounds pretty strange to be "thankful" for anything at this moment but you will cherish this time. You have been given an opportunity to tell her you love her. You have the chance to tell her that you didn't mean what you said when..., you have the chance to hold her...., you have the chance to say goodbye. This could very well be the gift that God has given her/you for her dedication.
I wish I could do more than just write this post.
Lonnie
Jul 17, 2006 11:00 am wow Lonnie, that really makes alotta sense to me...thanks man.
dan, *exhale* man, i can't even phathom what anything like this is like...i've been very blessed in having everyone that is close to me still be a part of my life...the down side is i have NO experiance dealing with these kind of life experiances. so please forgive my insite (or lack thereof)
in the vein of 'make the best out of a bad situation' i'd take the time to bring your family closer, espically your children. this is a very teachable moment for them...and i bet through them, you will find comfort and peace.
life is a big ball of questionmarks all tangled up man, i definately agree *as much as i can* that God is not a micro-manager. He is an excellent coach though, and will provide you with the intuition to come out of this stronger. that much i am sure of....
i've got a song that i always think of my mother dying every f'n time i hear it, it makes me cry...i have decided to play it at her funeral and if i could i'd have Bjork come out and sing it herself, but i gotta be reasonable. the song is called "All is Full of Love"...and i think i'll listen to it tonight and ponder....
You'll be given love
You'll be taken care of
You'll be given love
You have to trust it
Maybe not from the sources
You have poured yours
Maybe not from the directions
You are staring at
Twist your head around
It's all around you
All is full of love
All around you
All is full of love
You just aint receiving
All is full of love
Your phone is off the hook
All is full of love
Your doors are all shut
All is full of love!
** Icelandic part **
All is full of love, all is full of love
All is full of love, all is full of love ...
Chris
WaltChief Cook and Bottle WasherMember
Since: May 10, 2002
Jul 17, 2006 11:04 am Dear dB,
I too am very hurt to hear of your loss. You are a good man and per our world as we understand it do not deserve such a premature event. Please know that you are not alone. I say this not to minimize your loss, but to assure you that you have friends to grieve with. My parents crossed at ages that were normal and anticipated for the time. I still grieve the loss of my father's wisdom. My son was called to cross at 14. Sudden, unpridictable spinal menongitus. That I can not understand with my earthly knowledge. I too was very angry with god, very scared, very hurt. I doubt I will understand that event until I cross over. Were I God, I would have not designed this world the way he did. I am convinced that is a good thing. He has personly demonstrated that he knows better per my life and my relationship with him. You and your family will be in my prayers, (already are actually) and if there is anything I can do, I will.
Na-ma-stay my friend!
Jul 17, 2006 11:29 am Quote:
This week my mom was given 6 months to live
as an afterthought, docs often give these as 'worst case scenario' for legal reasons....if they say, she's got 5 years and she goes in a year, they can get suied....many times people get the 'x-months to live' and end up holding on for years....so please don't view it as a hard number.
Jul 17, 2006 01:41 pm So sorry to hear about your mum dB and I hope you can spend some time with her.It seems so unfair when people get cancer especially when they're young.My mum had an aunt who my dad said would outlive us all,well she outlived him and many others because she lived to be 100 and got the standard letter off the Queen.Things were very different in 1906 when she was born.Im sure that everyone here on HRC and many others will be thinking of you and your mum in these difficult times.
Flashmannot the brightest spark...Member
Since: Sep 13, 2005
Jul 17, 2006 02:43 pm My words will mean little. But they are as much as I can give to you Db. I hope that your mother, yourself and your family are able to fully enjoy the rest of your time together.
Perhaps the only good here lies in the way it makes people like myself stop for a minute or two. It reminds me to make more effort with those I take for granted. That's an enourmously important thing.
Best wishes,
Nathan (Flashman)
jetgloMember
Since: Jul 23, 2004
Jul 17, 2006 04:08 pm I've been there myself.. with death of a parent.
I knew it was coming too. Our relationship was rocky to say the best.. but after he died I was overtaken. That is, all of the feelings I kept inside turned against me. I was really lost for a while.. like an existential jetlag. I didn't think it would be like that. I was surprised.
Here's what I learned:
Don't deny ANY of your feelings.. don't try to hide what you truly feel, no matter what it is.
I wish you well.
LokiCone PokerMember
Since: Apr 07, 2002
Jul 17, 2006 05:04 pm Dan,
I think you have every right to be upset with god and want answers. Hell I would be too. You know that my prayers and thoughts are with you. If you're looking for a reason "why me?" look to the book of Job maybe. Just a suggestion.
But yeah brother, nothing but well wishes, prayers, and love coming from texas right now.
Jul 18, 2006 07:33 am Few things have made me feel better thru this thing than having my daughters draw pictures and cards to bring to grandma, and reading all these supportive posts from my long-distance friends.
Quote:
Perhaps the only good here lies in the way it makes people like myself stop for a minute or two. It reminds me to make more effort with those I take for granted.
Flashman, for a guy who said your words mean nothing, you certainly said probably one of the most insightful things yet, and perhaps a big positive in the big picture.
I went to see mom in the nursing home last night...she doesn't really fit in there, with lots of really old folks with serious issues and then my 59 year old mom...but, well, then I started talking to her. She is forgetful, starts talking to me about something Dan did (ummm, I am Dan)...introduces me to her new friends, then 5 minutes later tells me I have to introduce myself cuz she's tired...stuff like that. Hard to see, but I managed to hold back tears until I was out of sight on my way to my car.
Jul 22, 2006 11:21 pm Dan,
I've been exactly where you are.
You are stronger than you may think you are. You will be a better person because of these experiences. You'll see.
Herb
Jul 22, 2006 11:48 pm Dan,
It takes a lot of strength to openly talk to us about this time in your life, the same energy that will lead you through this. My heart goes out to you, your family, and anyone who knows her. Thanks for being here for all of us man... right now, were her for you !
Jul 23, 2006 08:22 pm Dan,
I've been following your threads and reading your blogs lately. Very sad, and I feel terrible for you. Like a lot of others, I lost my dad about eight years ago, and hardly a day goes by that I don't think about him. A lot of times they're good thoughts that make me smile, and some times they're longing thoughts that make me want to cry.
I watched Tiger Woods win his third British Open on television today. After his final putt went in and he realized he had won, he started thinking about his recently deceased father, and how much he wished he could have been there to see it all happen. He hugged his caddy for what seemed like two minutes and he just lost it. Right there in front of millions of people he was crying uncontrollably, missing his dad. Needless to say, I lost it too. My dad and I spent hous and hours of time together on the golf course. To see Tiger missing his dad so much really made me miss mine too, even after eight years.
Anyway, Dan...thanks for trusting us with your troubles, and be comforted by the fact that many if us around HRC care about you. Because I believe it helpful, I will pray for your mom and for you and for your family.
And when you're in better sorts, I'm coming across the river to buy you a beer.
Jim
Jul 24, 2006 03:45 am i have hesitated to reply till now because this stuff gets me really bad. i think about it way too much, worrying about it. so i hope you'll take my silence up till now as a kind of wordless solidarity.
life often seems very cruel to me. a lot of times i don't understand really how to deal with things like this. its never fair, it just is, and everyone goes through it, and all we can really ever do is to make every moment count.
"To see a world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower Hold infinity in the palms of your hand and eternity in an hour."
--wm blake
Jul 24, 2006 08:54 am I do sincerely appreciate all the kind words of support and encouragement. I've done a lot of things and been through a lot in my life, but this one is new on me, and quite frankly one of the most difficult things I have done yet, not only as a man loosing my mom, but as a father trying to guide my two young daughters through mourning and grief...so they know when they see me crying, or they feel like crying, that it's OK.
It's becoming increasingly difficult to not be very, very angry with the same God I praise each day. I did not attend church yesterday as I would have felt like a hypocrite. Not only is my mother being taken too young, but now it's being prolonged, she is has no quality of life, it's hurting my dad terribly and my kids and my neice are dealing the best kids can.
I just want this to be over, one way or another, for the good of my father if nothing else. It hurts me so badly to see how badly he is hurting. They have been married for 41 years.
Jul 26, 2006 11:05 am Today, on mom's 60th birthday, she passed away peacefully at about 8:30 in the morning.
Rest in peace mom, I love you.
BeerHunterwww.TheLondonProject.caMember
Since: Feb 07, 2005
Jul 26, 2006 11:38 am dB, I'm so sorry. My heart truly goes out to you and your family.
TallChapAnswer:On a good day, lipstick.Member
Since: Jun 24, 2004
Jul 26, 2006 11:45 am dB-Wan, my sincerest condolences.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
I hope you find some comfort in your faith.
Where my beliefs stand, she's in very good hands.
pjkPrince CZAR-mingMember
Since: Apr 08, 2004
Jul 26, 2006 11:48 am May God Bless you and your family, in this time of loss.
May God's Blessings of Peace and Harmony be with you all.
May God's Comfort and Understanding flow through all of you.
I've been praying for you, your mother, your father, and all your family. I will continue to do so.
Izzy Dutch'The Flying Dutchman'Member
Since: Jan 11, 2006
Jul 26, 2006 12:23 pm My sincere condolences..
zekthedeadcowEat Spam before it eats YOU!!!Member
Since: May 11, 2002
Jul 26, 2006 02:14 pm I don't know what to say again, spend time with your dad.
Jul 26, 2006 02:24 pm So sorry to hear this,may she rest in peace.
CptTrippsCzar of Turd PolishMember
Since: Jun 20, 2006
Jul 26, 2006 04:09 pm DB, having been in your shoes with my father (he was 35), I understand and just want to say I'm sorry for your loss. Me and the wife will both pray for you and your family.
I don't know if I'm being to forward but I mean well. I found a poem from an unknown author that in my eyes is how me, my brothers and my mother tried to see things to help us through the rough times.
The Final Flight
Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free,
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took his hand when I heard his call,
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day,
To laugh, to love, to work, to play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way,
I've found that peace at the end of the day.
If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss,
Ah, yes, these things too I will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow,
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My Life's been full, I savoured much,
Good friends, good times, a loved one' touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me,
God wanted me now, He set me free.
Jul 26, 2006 04:24 pm Thank you, Tripps, it's a beautiful poem...really hits home today.
LokiCone PokerMember
Since: Apr 07, 2002
Jul 26, 2006 04:31 pm dB - While I've never been in your shoes I did lose a great friend at an early age (18) due to brain cancer. I know all about the anger at god or whatever diety you believe in. The thought that got me through was knowing she was no longer in pain, that she was finally at peace.
I haven't a clue what to tell you, other than I'm sorry for your loss and will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Aug 18, 2006 08:50 pm DB
Man dude I am so pissed at myself for getting so busy with work and the Fall OF Echoes record that I havent been logging on much here and when I do I read this painful post.
This SUCKS!!
First of all my thoughts and prayers for you & your family will be offered as soon as I am done typing this.
Your anger, dissapointment, confusion and pain are more than understandable. The concept of death and why it happens, when it happens and how it happens is such an easy thing to lament over when it isnt dealing with someone you love.
Just know that the Lord is in control of this situation and his will, no matter how hard we lobby him, sometimes cant be understood until some time has passed. Death and its eventuality is usually defined by our own human expectations. We have a timetable that we apply to our lives that consists of growing up, getting married, having kids, retiring and then at a ripe old age we peacefully fall a sleep and wake to the embrace of our Savior.
We tend to cloak ourselves in the concept of an earthly life being the only life we get to "really" enjoy and that is worth living. We have a very hard time accepting that this "earthly" life is really only designed to prepare us (via the experiences our Lord allows us to experience) for what our purpose will be in Heaven for all of eternity.
DB, your Mom may have experienced everything that our Lord had in store for her to experience and now he wants her to begin her purpose that she is now prepared for in Heaven and is calling her home now to begin it. The ripples that come from a pebble go a very long way and the manner in which he is calling her home will have a ripple effect that will also glorify God and his ultimate purpose. You or I or anyone will never wrap our minds around the effects of those ripples and who they will bless according to God's will. A tough concept I know...
What we can do is ask for his peace and wisdom for embracing his will. We both know that task is a hard one. We cry for ourselves and we cry for others who will be effected by the passing of a loved one. The bible says that physical death is not the end. Trust in that for your mom. Her "life" is truly about to begin!
When by beloved grandmother passed away (I was a mess)a wise friend asked me the following...
If you were confronted by our Lord face to face and he gave you the choice to either have your Grandmother's health restored and to remain living out her life here on earth or to be restored and received in heaven to begin her ultimate purpose in paradise with our Lord, which would you choose for her?
Please do not take my response as disrespecting your feelings. Believe me I walked in those same angry shoes. God knows your mad at him. He knows your hurting. Reach out to him and ask for his wisdom and strength to accept his will for his servant (your mom) and not your own.
I would reccommend that you give your mom a big hug and kiss and tell her that you forgive her for the distance between you and her. Do it no matter if she understands what your saying or not. That expression of love and forgivness will carry on with her and will be revealed to her in eternity.
I will continue to keep you in prayer.
God Bless,
Rob
Aug 23, 2006 08:19 am Thanks Rob,
Well, the worst of it is over. Over the weekend dad and I laid the cement slab for moms headstone...which should be coming in a week or two.
Now it's just dealing with my 5 year old, she cries every night missing Grandma Carol...it's getting pretty hard to deal with...and she wasn't the kid I thought would be a problem...
Aug 23, 2006 06:46 pm That is tough on a youngster. Its hard for us "grown ups" to understand this stuff let alone a 5 year old. Sometimes though they say or express the most insightful things during times like these. Keep an ear out for those jems...there priceless.
I will keep you guys in prayer.
Hang in there Bro!
