Dec 15, 2007 12:04 pm most of my life. Seriously, I've got wayyyyy too many to list.
most embarrassing moments...
Posted on Dec 15, 2007 05:00 am
whosyourdaddy00
Hold 'Em Czar
Member Since: Dec 30, 2004
once when i was 12, i had a paper route, and when i got my first complaint (customer didn't get their paper) i rode my bike out with my best friend and his sister....this chick reamed me for 10 mins! slammed her door shut, then i peed my pants in front of them.
or how 'bout the time when this guy with a real physical problem with his neck (kinda like a sudden hard twitch) came up to me while i was working at Taco Bell during the big "Taco Neck Syndrome" ad campaign....i laughed at him to his face and said "i get it, look everyone, this guy has TNS!"....but then he kept doing it after i gave him his food.
[ Back to Top ]
Dec 15, 2007 12:04 pm most of my life. Seriously, I've got wayyyyy too many to list.
Dec 16, 2007 04:56 am at the bar i walked into the pool room and went up to an older friend/regular and i see two hotties playin' pool next to us...i casually say something like "i'd bone the **** outta both of them slutz"
he then calls them both over to us by name and says "these are my daughters, tell them what you just told me, and don't lie"....omg! i humbly replied "we were having 'guy' talk"....he then made me repeat my comment verbatim what i said.
let me tell you, i'll NEVER talk like that again to a friend until i'm sure i'm in the clear.
Dec 16, 2007 01:02 pm Lol Wyd, I don't want to laugh but I can totally see the bar situation playing out, I can imagine my stomach hitting the floor.
I work on a sales counter at a speed shop selling race car parts during the day. I had a man and a woman come in and ask about some pretty expensive parts. They said give us a minute and then walked outside. The man came back in alone and I stupidly said, "Had to talk it over with your mom?" the guy was clearly not happy and goes on to tell me thats not his mother but his girlfriend. She was clearly much older than him and its not terribly uncommon for mother and son to come in together. That was the last time I made any comment like that.
Dec 16, 2007 02:50 pm I gots plenty myself, but I'll relate one that happened to a buddy of mine instead, since it sticks out clearly in my head.
We were playing a gig in Wyoming, and a guy came to the stage and asked us to sing Happy Birthday to Larry. Our guitarist said, "Sure. Hey everybody, It's Larry's birthday! Stand up, Larry! Stand up!!"
Umm, Larry was in a wheelchair.
D'oh.
Dec 16, 2007 03:31 pm Years ago, I was at this party, and a 'gal I had offended on a most rediculous level(a good year before), walked over and slapped me so hard that my beer dropped right out of my hand and smashed on the floor... I was utterly stunned... then she promply left . I never seen it coming, so that made things comepletely hysterical to those close friends of mine that had whitnessed her long awaited retribution .
Everytime I see High Plains Drifer, I have to laugh at the one line...
"I wonder what took her so long to get mad ?"
Then there was this one time, at HRC-Camp... heh heh
Dec 16, 2007 03:37 pm when a 40 year old woman told me she had a crush on me.
I was 21 at the time.
Awkward.
Dec 16, 2007 03:46 pm I must defer back to the good ol' "calling grandma an ignorant slut" story...
Dec 16, 2007 04:50 pm Virtually impossible to top, dB. Clear winner.
Dec 16, 2007 04:59 pm I dare anyone to top that story...that lived to tell about it, cuz I almost didn't.
Dec 16, 2007 07:21 pm I can come close but not quite, that is still the top of the heap.
We were maybe 10 or 11 years old. My older cousin told her younger brother and I it was OK to swear, but only if we had our fingers crossed and that would make it so it wouldn't count.
I walked upstairs and called my dad a sucker (replace appropriate letter for the correct word in front of all the relatives and my grandma. My father gave me an odd look, turned a bit red. And before I knew what hit me I was on the deck. Grandma didn't take kindly to it. I proceeded tell them it didn't count cause my fingers were crossed. When asked how I figured that made it better I ratted my cousin out. She promptly got a bare bottom spankin in front of everyone.
The back of my head still hurt but I felt much better.
Dec 16, 2007 08:03 pm Oh yeah...
I was 8 or so, playing with with my friend Roger Bell in his back yard. Roger had this new and interesting phrase, "son of a b----." Well, that was the funniest sounding thing I'd heard in my short life. Had quite a snap and zing to it, ya know? Dirty? How could such a hilarious thing be dirty?
Later, at home, Mom didn't find it quite as funny as I did.
Dec 17, 2007 10:09 am one time the singer of my band, a clean-cut guy who was a lady's man and was sort of full of himself (but a nice dude)was chatting up two women at a party. he was definitely playing his game. suddenly he fell through a huge glass table for no reason i could see. one sec it was 'hey ladies,' the next moment, there's glass everywhere and he's on the ground. it actually looked as if he'd been attacked the way he went down. i'd been standing right next to him and i saw him flinch and go down, then i perked up and went into defense mode. but no, there was no threat. he just fell through a table.
i want cliffriff to tell his 'guy in the park story.' i'll try to get him to stop by this thread later.
Dec 17, 2007 10:16 am I was 17 years old, drunk as hell with a couple of high school buddies in Drukula's bowling alley in St Paul...one buddy had just got off crutches after a wicked football injury to his knee.
We saw a couple hot chicks sitting by the entry way (picture large plate glass entry way). My drunk knee-surgery buddy goes up to them working his stupid, drunken wiley ways...I walk over just to get a buck from him for a video game or something stupid...he starts being joe tough guy (for the girls benefit no doubt) and I end up going through one of the large peices of plate glass...lucky I didn't lose my damn head.
We told our folks his knee collapsed and yada yada yada...a couple years back me and my dad were drinkin and talking, that came up, I told him what really happened...he laughed and said "yeah, his dad and I both knew"...
ARGH...I was about 37-38 years old and felt a grounding comin on. :-D
Dec 17, 2007 12:28 pm Me and the Mrs hired a canal boat(50ft)some years ago.We were holding a rope at each end standing waiting for our turn to go through the locks and I shouted to her to get on board to move ahead.She didn't hear me cos of the noise of water and was standing gazing into the canal so I threw a big stone aiming for the water to get her attention.I missed!Yeah smack on the head! Shocked she dropped the rope,I dropped mine to see if she was ok and the boat was sailing off.Duh.
Dec 17, 2007 12:52 pm A very close friend of mine (RIP my friend, I miss you) used metal crutches to get around (Polio). One time after a few beers we went to catch the SkyTrain (above ground subway train thingy). As we are entering the train both his crutches go into the gap between the train and the landing. This results in him tumbling into the SkyTrain and landing flat on his back. I couldn't stop laughing at him. I laughed and laughed until I noticed everyone on the SkyTrain looking at me with that sort of "how can you laugh at that poor disabled person" kind of look on their faces.
Here's another one about the same fella. Anytime we would enter a building I would go first and fling the door open and my friend would stick a cruch in the door to hold it open and then follow me in. We did this for years and years as it work best. After awhile I didn't have to even think about it. I can't tell you the amount of times that I had really awfull looks from people that didn't know we were together and this is what we had done for years.
Some of you may not have yet heard this song that I wrote for him.
Dec 17, 2007 02:35 pm Wow, BH, that was touching.
Watch out for the BH posts, they make you laugh, they make you cry...
Dec 17, 2007 02:43 pm On the bus route I rode a few years back there was a groups of a few of us that rode together for a few years, got to know each other really well. One black guy and one girl were in the group.
Every now and then the black guy and myself would get into racist jokes on each other, calling me a cracker or whatever the insult of the day was, I'd tell him to get to the back of the bus where he belongs and stuff like that...
If there were new people on the bus sitting near us you could tell by the look in their eyes they thought they were going to be at ground zero of a major fight or shooting or something...
In hindsite it was funny as hell. I still get together with him on occassion (hope to over the holidays actually) even though we haven't ridden together in 2 or 3 years...great guy...
Dec 17, 2007 07:25 pm Sticks of Steel. I hadn't listened to that in awhile. And yes, it is saved in my bookmarks for favorite youtube stuff.
Dec 17, 2007 11:44 pm I'll recount one of my friend's incidents. So, he was at this party, and yeah, there was a bit o' booze, but he hadn't had enough to get sloshed yet. So, he was going to walk out to the porch to chat with some friends of his...and neglected to notice the sliding glass door was shut. He proceeds to walk through the glass, shattering the door, and falling on his a** in the living room.
As for stories of myself, let's just say there was this one incident in high-school that lead to my being called "Woody" for the next 3 years. ... Hey, it was a really nice bikini -shrug-
Dec 18, 2007 03:55 am My embarrassing moment is more a tale of trickery and severe alcohol abuse.
At a field party one night, a buddy of mine thought it'd be awesome to challenge me to a 'shot off' (who can drink the most shots in a row without puking.) He had what was supposed to be 20 shots of 151 on each side of the counter set up. Before this bet, I never turned down a bet on a weekend, but since I turn them down all the time. Fair warning everyone.
So we go down the line and do our shots; second to last I feel a little blah coming on, but hold in till the end. At the end of the line I catch my breath so to speak, and try to get my bearings together. (Mind you, I was entirely sober before this contest minus a couple beers.) So I was declared champion because my friend was laughing so much he couldn't finish his 'shots'. I must've not been paying attention, because he was drinking shots of Killians, while I was drinking shots of the real Bacardi 151. Shortly thereafter, the entire night is one I can only recall through stories, but I guess I went on a tirade through a cow field, lost a brand new pair of shoes in the field, stole a case of beer and a bottle of Jack from the host of the party and secluded myself to the woods for a few hours, before passing out covered in red clay and various bodily fluids.
I woke up 3 days later in the hospital with class 3 alcohol poisoning, which they said they were afraid I wasn't going to wake up at all from. Thanks 'nameless' buddy. There's no telling what I did that night, but I know this much- that was 4 years ago and I'm STILL embarrassed about it. Sometimes I have tiny memories from the latter half of the night- not pretty.
Dec 18, 2007 12:06 pm hmmm, I stand by my conclusion that 151 is an evil concoction to be avoided! I have had at least one episode that was more sad than embarrassing due to that stuff.
Dec 18, 2007 12:09 pm I'm with coolo on that, and Tequila as well goes on that list...it's that weird allergy I have that I somehow get blackeyes and busted lips when I drink it...not sure what the deal is :-D
Dec 18, 2007 12:16 pm Hmmm, speaking of Tequila. Here's a shot from last week :-)
Dec 18, 2007 12:18 pm oi!
I have a Heineken bottle like that.
Dec 18, 2007 12:40 pm Tequila Christmas Cookies:
1 cup of water
1 tsp of baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the
Cuervo
again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup
and
drink.
Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try
another
cup ... just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl
and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off
floor...
Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers
just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet.
Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your
nuts.
Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
Whatever y! ou can! find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo
and
make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
CHERRY MISTMAS
Dec 18, 2007 06:01 pm Mezcal, which is not Tequila but a distant relative non the less. That and rum I will never touch again as long as I live. Well maybe good Mezcal from the private town distillery's of southern Mexico.
With Mezcal you can blame it on the worm. With rum it is just being stupid. To much 151 is the only time I have ever tossed from consuming too much. And I figured if I never drink it again I'll never toss my cookies again either.
Mezcal embarrassing moment. Riding my bike (Sportster) into the garage, with the swinging doors only partly opened. Broke 3 fingers on each hand that time.
151 embarrassing moment. Tossing my cookies on passed out girl friend, in front of witnesses who would later tell here it wasn't here puke all over her dress.
|
Related Forum Topics: |
If you would like to participate in the forum discussions, feel free to register for your free membership.