Kids are stupid. So were you. Share your story.
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Posted on Sep 22, 2007 02:00 am
Herb Utsmelz
Ne'er ate 'er
Member Since: Apr 05, 2006
This thread is for confessing to stupid things you did as a kid.
I’ll start with one of mine.
When I was a teenager, my father was the general manager at a grass seed cleaning plant, and I worked under him. I started at age 13. Dad was issued a brand new Toyota pickup each year. When I turned 15, even before I got my learner’s permit, I used to sneak that pickup out at night after the old man went to bed. At that time, Dad’s truck was a nice, new 1976 Toyota with a 5 speed stick. It was amazing that I was never killed while hijacking that truck overnight, though one time I managed to plant it in a ditch and back out of it. Dad is long dead now, but I still feel bad for stealing the truck. Sorry, Dad.
Anyone have a better story?
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Sep 22, 2007 03:14 am ahhh, we used to steel my bestfriends minivan at night a few times....only went out for 20 mins or so at a time just for the fun of driving....never got caught...ya gotta kill the engine and lights and roll it out and back in!
once i shot myself in the hand with a pump bb gun....my kid brother and i were feeling the air pressure one pump at a time....we got to 10 and my brother couldn't cock it, i got frustrated and cocked it (this is were we usually remove the bb from the chamber) told him to shoot me.
it went into my right palm and almost got all the way through my hand, you could see it on the top of my hand....it went numb instantly, so my bright idea was to grab a serrated knife and have him operate....(oh the parents wern't home, and the gun wasn't ours btw)...so he started sawing at my hand and it got ta hurtin'...so that wasn't gonna work.
no permanent damage though!
Sep 22, 2007 06:51 am When I was a kid my folks let me watch SNL before I was apparently ready for it, imitate Chevy Chase, and not knowing exactly what I as saying, I called my grandma "an ignorant slut".
I knew what ignorant meant...
I later in life also found out that grandma had my mother unwed at 16 years old so my mom was given to my grandma for quite a while. so odds are she was called that before...
Sorry Grams...
Sep 22, 2007 07:26 am Uhm, shot fire works at my best friend and video taped it. He's still my best friend.
Was play fighting with my dad took it too far and got knocked unconcious with retrograde amnesia. Don't ask me how or what happened for 2 days.
Oh, and I left my first teenage love for audio engineering.... I have a disease :-/.
zekthedeadcowEat Spam before it eats YOU!!!Member
Since: May 11, 2002
Sep 22, 2007 08:55 am While living on the farm:
I pulled a pin to unhook a kicker wagon from a tractor that was on a slight incline ...towards me... (tractor)-->me<-- (wagon) caught my hip on the three point hitch before I could get behind the tractor tire... was a couple weeks before I could walk properly...
was taking the trash out to our burn pile using our chevy astro van... I was 13 maybe... and ran it into a flatbed trailer putting a huge gash down the passenger side door... a couple days later in the van my dad 'commented' on that again and promptly pulled out in reverse and nailed the semi... never talked of either incident again... :)
when we moved to ohio I drove down alone without a license. when we got here we tried to get an ohio license but they wouldn't accept my 'three days of drivers ed at Sears' so we went back up to michigan and got the michigan drivers license...now... driver licenses expire 90 days after you move out of state...so two years later I was pulled over driving my volkswagon rabbit (in a very wealthy community) and the police couldn't validate an out of state license because the systems don't talk to each other... so he asked me if I still lived in michigan because he's seen me a lot... I tell him my parents are divorced and I'm visiting my mom and this POS is my extra car...worked...
17th birthday was out with friends who later got involved in a fight with other people in a kroger parking lot... police come out of nowhere with guns drawn... I now have an on going joke about flashing red and blue party lights...
TadpuiI am not a crook's headMember
Since: Mar 14, 2003
Sep 22, 2007 09:09 am When I was in about 6th grade or so, my cousin and I had the bright idea to fill a super-soaker water gun with gasoline. Add a Bic lighter and voila! A flame=thrower! Just what 2 adolescents need! We went out into the adjacent GRASSY FIELD to test it out. My cousin lost all of the hair on both legs trying to stamp out the ensuing fire (you mean there was a fire after taking a flame thrower into a grassy field? No!). Luckily, and I do mean luckily, we were able to stamp out the fire before it spread. The flame thrower was promptly retired, and we never mentioned it to our parents.
Sep 22, 2007 12:28 pm "Grandma, you ignorant slut."
I'll be laughing at that one all day now.
Super soaker filled with gas? That's fairly impressive too. I have a BB gun story or two as well. I haven't told the BEST stories of my childhood stupidity, but I'm headed off to a barbecue and microbrew festival, and all that could change later.
Let's hear some more.
Sep 22, 2007 12:35 pm Dude, I can still picture the faces of all the adults at the table, complete disbelief and horror and dumbfoundedness...I still remember seeing everybody's faces and thinking "uh oh"...
Dad just let me start watching SNL again last year... :-)
Mom would bring it up from time to time the rest of her life and I'd always play the "huh?" card...
Sep 22, 2007 02:08 pm i can't put my stories here. they turn up in google search results!
Sep 22, 2007 06:34 pm I just googled fortymile, and you didn't show up until the bottom of the fourth page:
www.ibreathemusic.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6409
You're probably safe here. Let 'er rip!
By the way dB, I'm still laughing. "Grandma, you ignorant slut!" is as good as it gets. I don't care who ya are...
Sep 22, 2007 06:35 pm yeah, it's always a good party story...prolly the stupidest thing I have ever done in life...it is funny though...
Sep 22, 2007 06:41 pm THE stupidest thing? C'mon now. I've done dumber things than that in church. You should favor us with a slightly better one...
Sep 22, 2007 06:44 pm Throwing a lawn dart (back when they were still pointy) straight in the air and watching it come down and hitting me right in the forehead?
yeah, that's stupider...
Yep, I am the reason they became little weighted flower looking things...
Sep 22, 2007 07:02 pm OK, here’s another one of my dumb antics:
Halsey, Oregon (population 400 – saaaalute!). Seven years old. Found an assload of matches in the glove box of the family car. Next to our house, a large compost pile was just begging me to set it afire. So of course I did. It was a most excellent idea at the time. Then I realized fires can become a lot larger than the average seven-year-old boy. In to the house I ran, confessing to Mom. Dad was at work at the time. The look on her face was probably as good as your Grandma’s, dB. I cowered under the kitchen table, terrified at the possibility of the unleashing of the Yardstick Of Mom.
So, lights and sirens a-blazing, here comes the Halsey Volunteer Fire Department (saaaalute!). Larry Parker was the chief, and the dad of my best friend at the time. I’ll never forget the lecture he gave me. The exact words are now forgotten of course, but the impression lasts to this day.
I gave up any thoughts of pyromania right there and then.
Sep 22, 2007 07:23 pm whoa...
Sep 22, 2007 07:33 pm Yep, I was a handful. I still am. My parents must have a special spot in the afterlife. Cloud Ten, I hope.
Sep 23, 2007 03:53 am i was always the 'group leader' of the neighbor hood...my best friend and i had a silly rep where, i'd come up with the dumb ideas and get the others to do them (quite manipulative huh?)....
once while 'exploring' the woods i got stung by a bee...and saw a hive in the dirt....so out of anger, i immediately declared war against all bees....our club would be called 'The Bee Busters' and we'd fight all bee's anywhere we could find them......this actually worked for a few hives, we were armed with super soakers filled with watered down Raid (bug spray), strait cans of Raid on either hip (side arm), and tennis racquet's for 1 on 1 combat....
well, one day on a 'mission' we were scoping a nest that was dug into the ground atop a small hill, we set a 'perimeter' around the hive with teams of two 'troops' one four sides.....then our newest (and youngest member age 7) comes running up and literally stands on top of the hive!!!!
we were all "move move move!!!" but he just didn't get it......he got swarmed and ended up in the hospital with around 120 stings....i 'retired' the bee busters that same day.
don't ask me about our little brothers 'test flight' of the homemade parachutes off the second story!
Sep 23, 2007 04:10 am lol, ok i'm on the subject, and i had quite a reputation for these type of scenarios...
once i tried walking to ohio from about 30 miles from the boarder (with friends, but my idea)
also we tried offering our neighborhood builder a 'weekend rental' of the houses he was building (so we could have a place to hang out and smoke cigarettes!) i offered him about a hundred USD per month (we'd all pool our allowances) for whatever house on the road wasn't sold.
i also started a 'cult' called WAR (witches against religion) hahahaha
it was my idea to protest school and stage a walk-out (and this DID happen) due to lack of air conditioning (to save money in the school budget) and our motto was "school isn't cool" we went to the board of education with it....lemme see if i can dig up an article.
BleakA small pie will soon be eatenMember
Since: Aug 26, 2004
Sep 23, 2007 07:48 pm My god - I simply don't think DB has the server space for all my stupid going's on.
GeoffSM7b the Chuck Noris of Mic'sContributor
Since: Jun 20, 2002
Sep 24, 2007 01:22 am I did some ******* things, back ni the day, Hell i still do, as my wife. One that sticks out ; I was 16 and my friend had this POS 1970'ish cutlas that he welded a hood orniment from a 50's car on the roof (this huge bird type of thing) . well due to another "stupid moment in history" the back window was shattered . It was summer so he didn't bother to fix it right away and when we'd be "crusin" one of us would climb out of the back and up on the roof and surf like Teen wolf, or ride the car like a bull and have the driver do some excibition driving. No one got hurt. to look back one might have gotten really messed up because we'd be going 60-80 mph doing this crap on dirt roads or even the f'in freeway.
GeoffSM7b the Chuck Noris of Mic'sContributor
Since: Jun 20, 2002
Sep 24, 2007 01:23 am Deleted By Geoff
glnflwrsHead KnockerContributor
Since: May 20, 2007
Sep 25, 2007 05:28 am When I was about 13 or so, my family went to visit my uncle's farm in Collinsville, Texas. It is slightly hilly and when it came time to feed the horses I talked my cousin into using the small tractor mower instead of walking down and back up the hill.
We got the hay all loaded onto the front "hood" and away we went. I was driving and as soon as we started down the hill I realized the brakes didn't work. At all!! Well, we went past the stalls and the horses just watched us go by.
We were getting faster and faster when I saw a cliff about 8-10 feet high dropping off about 30 yards in front of us. So, I ran the mower into a big rotten log and me, the hay, and my cousin all left the mower airborne.
The only thing damaged was our pride and the steering rod of the mower. The horses were snickering at us as we passed out the hay. I used a forked stick to pry the steering rod back onto the pin on the wheel and we pushed the mower back up the hill and into the barn. No one ever knew what we'd done, I think.
Sep 25, 2007 09:05 am If I had been raised on a farm, I'm not sure I would have survived to adulthood with all the sharp, pointy, and motorized things in the environment...
I recall some of my friends doing the "urban surfing" that Geoff mentioned.
I received this in an email this morning -
[b]Black and White
(Under age 30? You won't understand.)
You could hardly see for all the snow,
Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go.
Pull a chair up to the TV set,
"Good Night, David. Good Night, Chet."
My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food poisoning.
My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter AND I used to eat it raw sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag, not in icepack coolers, but I can't remember getting e.coli
Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then.
The term cell phone would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA system.
W e all took gym, not PE.. and risked permanent injury with a pair of high top Ked's (only worn in gym)
instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors. I can't recall any injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now.
Flunking gym was not an option... even for stupid kids! I guess PE must be much harder than gym.
Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the national anthem, and staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention.
We must have had horribly damaged psyches. What an archaic health system we had then. Remember school nurses? Ours wore a hat and everything.
I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself.
I just can't recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations.
Oh yeah... and where was the Benadryl and sterilization kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been killed!
We played 'king of the hill' on piles of gravel left on vacant construction sites, and when we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of Mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didn't sting like iodine did) and then we got our butt spanked.
Now it's a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49 bottle of antibiotics, and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.
We didn't act up at the neighbor's house either because if we did, we got our butt spanked there and then we got butt spanked again when we got home.
I recall Donny Reynolds from next door coming over and doing his tricks on the front stoop, just before he fell off. Little did his Mom know that she could have owned our house. Instead, she picked him up and swatted him for being such a goof. It was a neighborhood run amuck.
To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family. How could we possibly have known that?
We needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes? We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills, that we didn't even notice that the entire country wasn't taking Prozac! How did we ever survive?
LOVE TO ALL OF US WHO SHARED THIS ERA, AND TO ALL WHO DIDN'T- SORRY FOR WHAT YOU MISSED. I WOULDN'T TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING.
Sep 25, 2007 09:11 am That is the greatest post ever...maybe just cuz I lived those days.
The only error is that now they don't want to give antibiotics cuz the little germs and virii are getting immune to them...and becoming "super virii" or some **** like that.
Other than that, straight up man...that how I was raised...
Noize2uCzar of MidiAdministrator
Since: Apr 04, 2002
Sep 25, 2007 07:54 pm I'll have to come back to this, but I just wanna say thanx guys! I really needed this at the moment. It feels good to laugh right now.
I've got a few good ones as well I will share later.
cooloFrisco's Most UnderratedMember
Since: Jan 28, 2003
Sep 26, 2007 11:14 am Dang, I can't think of anything real stupid that I ever did as a kid/teen. All the stupid stuff I ever did (that I can recall) has all been the result of acting under the influence of alcohol...
Noize2uCzar of MidiAdministrator
Since: Apr 04, 2002
Sep 26, 2007 07:31 pm I'll share a quick one that wasn't me though. Our old house in Minneapolis had a flagstone drive way, rough cut. My friend on the corner used to do the stupider things in the hood. We were about 12. Well, he picked up one of those large pieces, a couple of pounds I would guess. And kinda like dB and his lawn Jart he tossed it straight up over his head. Then simply stood there looking up at the house as I stared in disbelief out the from window. Then as you guessed it came right back down on his stupid flat head. 32 stitches, a small fracture and a pretty heavy concussion and a week in the hospital. His mother was straight from Italy, and she swore up and down it was my fault. I wasn't even near the idiot when he did it.
Sep 27, 2007 04:38 am wow! great thread indeed....
now come on Hue, i know you can share one or two stories!
haha ya can tell 'em mine from the last time we kicked it! HAHAHA!
SrissoMember
Since: Sep 30, 2007
Sep 30, 2007 11:58 pm Stupid on what level? :)
I had very long hair when I was 18 (I am 34 now). I was brushing conditioner thru it with a round brush, the kind with knob-ended bristles all around it. It got wound up in my hair...I worked and worked at it until it was knotted firmly against my scalp. I ended up having to wait for my mommy to get home from work and help me out.
I set my whole yard on fire once in the summer, on a mountain. With fireworks.
I got raided by the police and bomb squad once when some concerned neighbors saw me burning napalm in the back yard.
Then I had to talk to the FBI about that and my alleged involvement with the local Satanic sect.
The list goes on...
Oct 01, 2007 06:24 am I remember getting drunk at age 16 or 17, getting in a scuffle with a friend and being thrown through the front window of a bowling alley...seriously, just like an old Clint Eastwood cowboy flick, right through the window.
Lucky I didn't get my damn head cut off.
Oct 02, 2007 11:46 am Whenever the lake in our town froze over we used to ride bikes on it.DUH. We liked it the best when loud cracks streaked across it.DUH.
