Jul 19, 2007 11:42 am I'll bet you $5 you can beat this, just hang in there man.
My Confession
Posted on Jul 19, 2007 11:37 am
Bleak
A small pie will soon be eaten
Member Since: Aug 26, 2004
My Name is Blake
I have a gambling problem.
I just needed to say that out loud!
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Jul 19, 2007 11:42 am I'll bet you $5 you can beat this, just hang in there man.
Jul 19, 2007 11:46 am I'm afraid all I have to offer at the moment is this:
www.google.com/search?sou...G=Google+Search
I wish you well, my friend.
Jul 19, 2007 12:04 pm Not to be stupidly simplistic but ultimately it boils down to this.
Just don't do it...
Jul 19, 2007 01:11 pm Doesnt work for all people though. somethings i've given up real easy, and others have been near impossible even with all the good intentions in the world. depends what kinda person you are i guess, and the specific thing you're trying to get away from. if you (you, as in anyone, not specifucally YOU Bleak) are smart, and you cant just stop, you'll find professional help to guide you through the process better.
What kinda gambling Bleak?
Jul 19, 2007 01:16 pm I seem to be adicted to all things adictive. However, I always lose at gambling so it wasn't hard for me just to get pissed off and walk away.
Jul 19, 2007 02:15 pm Quote:
Doesnt work for all people though. somethings i've given up real easy, and others have been near impossible even with all the good intentions in the world. depends what kinda person you are i guess, and the specific thing you're trying to get away from. if you (you, as in anyone, not specifucally YOU Bleak) are smart, and you cant just stop, you'll find professional help to guide you through the process better.
I disagree, stopping doing something does work for everybody. The only way is to stop. Never said it'd be easy, never claimed that...the right thing to do and the hard thing to do are often the same thing.
12 step programs are a joke in my personal opinion...but they work for a lot of people I suppose. Once you decide you have to stop you don't need help, the decision lies with the person and once the decision is made half the battle is won...
Jul 19, 2007 02:30 pm From my experience/knowledge/whatever:
Just quitting is not really enough. The internal motivation for the behavior has to be dealt with as well, or the risk of relapse will always be a danger. I've known plenty of alcoholics who were simply "dry drunks" with crappy attitudes because they hadn't lassoed the demon, and they always slid back.
I think some folks can do it alone, some are more successful with help from others.
Jul 19, 2007 02:37 pm Yeah, thats exactly what I meant by "Once you decide you have to stop you don't need help". It's that internal motivator, as you say it. That personal decision...
Personally I found everybody else to be a pain in the ***...still do pretty much.
Jul 19, 2007 04:49 pm db: that's like saying to someone "if you want to be a brain surgeon, just do it". Then assume they're weak when they don't succeed directly.
It's not easy when someone doesn't know how to accomplish such an 'easy' task.
For some it takes new practices, and lots of expirementation, before they get what works, and what doesn't.
If you've found a solution that works for you, fantastic. But for others, it may not be that easy. And to glibly point to someone 'just do it' shows short-sidedness on your part, not theirs.
I hope you take this without offense, as I'm not trying to put any out.
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Good for you Bleak, for taking steps to get a handle on something that can ruin what would otherwise be a great lifestyle. Keep trying to find solutions that work with you, to beat this weakness.
Programs can help, as they do for a lot of people, but not others. The key is, is to not give up looking for a better solution, and don't be held down by one that didn't work.
Jul 19, 2007 05:25 pm Quote:
db: that's like saying to someone "if you want to be a brain surgeon, just do it". Then assume they're weak when they don't succeed directly.
With all due respect pjk, that's a completely ...comparing brain surgery to not doing something is just...I can't even think of a word that isn't offensive...
Just ****** don't...it ain't rocket science...or brain surgery...
Jul 19, 2007 07:28 pm What is meant by the Just Don't phrase is simply to find a way to stop. Quiting anything must be done on a personal level, you have to want to. That is the only thing in the 12 step program that makes sense to me. You have to want to admit it first, which Bleak obviously has done. Then you must find a way, whether it is with counseling or self motivated. You simply just have to want to stop.
So it all boils down to the person just stopping himself by whatever means necessary. I can't make Bleak quite, his spouse or friend can't make him quite. No matter what someone else says or does it won't matter unless the person wants to stop them self.
However, Bleak can use HRC as a support group which he obviously has for the moment here. Come and read every thread here to keep himself occupied and away from the thing he does not want to do anymore.
Jul 20, 2007 07:34 am I meant that the objective is clear: not doing something. But getting yourself to that point (and staying there), is not always.
If someone is addictive because of serious underlying reasons, then the 'quitting' won't happen until the reasons are at least addressed.
Telling the person to 'just don't do it' will only befuddle the issue more, because the person will think it should be easy, but find it incredibly difficult to get there and stay there. Then they can become more disheartened by their repeated failure, and become worse.
12 step programs help because you're in contact with people that have gone through the same issues, and often worse. While I don't live the '12 step' lifestyle, I did attend meetings for awhile, as a tool in my recovery.
I found 2 distinct benefits: 1. seeing that other people can overcome this problem, and live with it, and 2. being around the positive direction very often, to remind myself that i'm doing the right thing.
I realized also, that my main objective was not just to conquer drinking (or whatever ailment), but it was to be a useful member of my society (worker, father, husband, friend, etc). That was a much more attractive goal, then to just be a recovered alcoholic (replace addiction here).
Like Noize2u mentioned: wanting to find a solution, and then finding one that works.
Jul 20, 2007 07:53 am The above is a grand example of seriously overthinking a very simple concept. If you are doing something you know is bad for you, stop doing it.
It's really not that hard, though all the people that make their living by counseling and treating people work very, very hard to convince you you can't do it alone...ya just ****** stop.
It'll be hard, you have to find a way to make it work for you, but at the end of the day you just don't do it.
I suggest Bleak stop listening to everybody telling him why it can't be done, or needs help, or any of this other crap, and just stop gambling. If Bleak decides for himself he wants help, let that be his decision. But don't sit here and talk about all the reasons he can't himself.
Quote:
12 step programs help because you're in contact with people that have gone through the same issues, and often worse. While I don't live the '12 step' lifestyle, I did attend meetings for awhile, as a tool in my recovery.
Yeah, I went too as a condition of my sentence from the judge. It was the most counter productive waste of time I ever had during my recovery. I tried quite a few different groups and all I got from it was sitting there listening to a lot of whiny babies bitching a moaning about all the things that happened to them which they brought on themselves. Jeezuz, it was terrible. Never saw so many pussies in one place since the time I snuck in to the girl locker room...
At the same time, it does work for some, and for them, that's great, I just personally see no conceivable reason it would help anyone.
While I don't want to piss on the way any person conquered their personal demons, I will say what worked for me.
Oddly, what worked for me is just not doing...
Jul 20, 2007 10:46 am This has got to be beaten but all I can suggest is go super tight and stick your fingers (or finger) up at the parasites who are trying to get your dosh.
Jul 20, 2007 11:04 am The key for me was to find another hobby to fill that space and time...which is when I got into aquariums...as pjk said, replacing the addiction :-)
Jul 20, 2007 12:07 pm I would suggest the stock market. - and no I'm not kidding...
Jul 20, 2007 12:58 pm Oh yeah, I agree to that. I'm constantly busy now, with 3 or 4 things always on my plate. It was much better to fill my days with other things, and not be dragged down by old habits.
Quote:
I would suggest the stock market. - and no I'm not kidding...
hmmm, never thought of that . . . probably need money for that =)
Jul 20, 2007 06:39 pm i find ppl that go into 'treatment' willingly have a different experaience than those that are forced to go (be it law, family, work, or friends)....
ya get what you put in...
i've never been but my little bro has and all he came out with was more hookups in town...go figure.
Jul 20, 2007 06:40 pm and shame on zek!
don't turn him into a day trader!
how about not using real money and playin' the games online or with friends...
Jul 20, 2007 06:43 pm hey everyone,
Thank you so much for your support and suggestions.
So much to digest.
I already feel i can beat it. Just putting my hand up and telling people already feels better.
I was hesitant to say it at first but i'm so glad i did. It's funny now, If you i did punt in a way i'll feel like I'm letting everyone here down as well as myself.
Quote:
I would suggest the stock market. - and no I'm not kidding..
Funny you should say that. If i had invested in the Company that makes some of the machines i feed then i would be worth quite a bit now.
Thanks again everyone. It means a lot you've all taken the time to reply.
Jul 24, 2007 09:20 am My confession:
Hi my name is Walt, I'm a MySpace Aholic!
I just cancled my account. I'd sit there and stare at the stupid thing knowing full well there was nothing but mememememe bulitins and Jr. Highschool surveys to be seen. Then I would get pissed at me for a ton of things I didn't do that I wanted to. Not yet 24 hours streight, I'm still Jonsin to know if Ralphy posted another stupid pic or not.
You can beat it Bleak, just know that.
Jul 24, 2007 11:07 am yeah life without myspace isn't at all that difficult....i lost quite a few good contacts but the damn thing just became a glorified e-mail account...
Jul 24, 2007 11:25 am Hi my name is Lonnie and I'm a alcohol-pot-cigarette-gambling-aholic! I'm waiting for the cure to come in the form of a pill.
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