Another new song for your critique

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Member Since: Jul 25, 2004

Here is a second song we have just more or less completed. First pass at mastering it and still needs work. Would love some input as to where I should go with the mix/mastering on it.

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I am not a crook's head
Since: Mar 14, 2003

Nov 11, 2004 04:41 am

The first thing I'd suggest is to mic that acoustic guitar. Going direct from an acoustic guitar may work on stage, but it really doesn't work so well for recording. This song is too good to have that "direct" sounding acoustic distracting the listener (or distracting me at least hehe).

there may be just a tad too much mid-high frequency in the vocals (like around 2K or so). I'm listening on cheapie headphones, so my opinion may not actually be worth much on specific frequencies. the vocals have a great presence, and don't seem to be competing with anything else, so it may not be worth starting to mess with them.

I'd like to hear something occupy the low end of this song...I don't hear a bass guitar. Maybe it's been EQ'd out or something? It needs a little something to fill that space in frequency between the kick drum and the strings.

Also, there seems to be some considerable hiss coming from somewhere at the first of the song. Maybe run the noisy tracks thru some noise/hiss reduction to clean it up a bit. It doesn't sound bad, but its just a thought. Heck, all of my tracks are noisy so I can't say much...

I think that you've done a great job here. The songwriting is good, you've got a good singing voice, and the song works as a whole. I think it has potential for mass appeal.

what's the deal with the kick drum at the end of the song?

Since: Jul 25, 2004

Nov 12, 2004 01:14 am

Thanks for the input. As of tonight, we're reworking the vocal track and will be rerecording the acoustic guitars. As for the bass, I think I'm having an issue competing eith the strings. Need to figure that one out still.

Would love to take credit for the vocals, but thats my buddy Jerod. I'm more a co writer bass player, wannabe keyboard player/ computer geek producer... (Thats a mouth full)

Since: Nov 13, 2004

Nov 13, 2004 07:40 am

Hi Phil

Your mate Jerod has got a great vocal. I agree with what Tadpui said. The mix needs some interest in the bottom end and also some incidental riffs and fills are needed. The song is great, but I feel like it needs more bounderies to give it structure. You know, one of those million little tricks artists use to say "here comes the chorus/middle 8" to the listener (listen to some of your favourite tracks for the transitions).

Mainly, I've got to say again - I listen to a lot of independent music lately and I've not heard a vocal with such marketable appeal for a long time.


Since: Jul 25, 2004

Nov 13, 2004 01:17 pm

Agreed. I am reworking the Bassline some to assist with transitions. Thanks for all the feedback. Really helps alot.

Since: Nov 13, 2004

Nov 17, 2004 04:56 am

Hi again Phil

I played "Hey You" to my co-writer last night, and I think he made a very good point. Firstly, he likes it a lot. But he noticed that the song is in the wrong key for your singer. In the early verses, he seems to be groping for very low notes - although he's obviously more comfortable (and sounds better) when the song lifts into the chorus.

Maybe you should try playing it a tone or two higher?


Since: Apr 08, 2004

Nov 18, 2004 06:56 am

Hi there!

Thats a nice song you got there... very melodic and easy to listen to. Almost sounds irish folk-like in parts. I see what Zither('s friend) friend means about the eary verse... he does indeed sound much better and "at home" with those higher part. Not that he cant sing those lower ones, just seems he's not used to singing down there. I get the impression the vocal gets better and better as the song progresses, si i dont know if it was a one-take thing, but if so, you should maybe think about doing multiple takes and comping them.

I'm with Tadpui with the guitar too... i generally record direct like that for scratch tracks only, as it doesnt really sound too great on proper recordings. Or rather, not as good as micing. That sounds so much like me playing that guitar it's scary ;) YOu might like to try recording the acoustic track twice, then pan them left and right..that gives a lovely full sound. Just an idea, by no means a rule though.

One other thing which no-one seems to have mentioned... i'm pretty sure the bass drum is clipping at my end on every single hit. If these are programmed drum hits (?), then thats strange indeed. I guess you might have just tried to squeeze a bit too much volume out during mastering?

Really good song... couple of adjustments and you'll get it sounding excellent! Keep up the great stuff...

Czar of Midi
Since: Apr 04, 2002

Nov 24, 2004 03:28 pm

The others seem to have covered all the basses for the other stuff. I can hear that the bass guitar doesnt seem to have any punch to it. Not that it would require a lot on this tune. But it should cut through the mix better indeed. I would try some soft knee compression on it to get it to come out of the mix bore. I dont think it is the strings it is competeing with at all. It just needs some more strength to get it out front more.

Otherwise very good tune indeed.

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