America - Your Critique???
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Posted on May 01, 2004 04:34 pm
cocofromscotland
Hello!
Member Since: Jan 12, 2004
Hi Folks
My latest song named "America" is all but done. As ever, any input, opinions and advice is welcome on this one.
This song has been on the "back burner" for 10 years so its a long time coming. This is my first (and seems about right) serious attempt to record/mix the simple little song based on the USA.
Here's the link:
www.soundclick.com/bands/6/deadflowersmusic.htm
I love this song (I am honest with this) its simple but I am concerned with opinions on the music and mainly mix, sound quality etc.
** Listen HI-FI as LO-FI is very poor **
Cheers...
Coco.
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May 01, 2004 04:45 pm i dig it, coco! the vocal effects are ideal and your voice sounds great. how did you get the vocals so smooth sounding? the frequencies in the voice are all pleasing. and the reverb and presence. do you have early reflections on those?
im not good with picking out lyrics. it's a perceptual difficulty. maybe you could post them?
ILLbizzelILLbino - one of WA's finestMember
Since: Feb 10, 2004
May 01, 2004 05:31 pm I think the vocals should be turned up a little more. Also, I think it could use a break down in it where a drum line comes in. But overall, I think it's a decent mix. Sounds like something that'd be in a trajedy based movie soundtrack or something similar. Anyway, that's my opinion. Overall, pretty good.
May 01, 2004 05:49 pm Thanks for the input guys...
The vocals are so smooth with a bit of luck, some reverb and a double panned track! I also added a smidgen of delay and thats it! Used an SM58 (I use an SM58 for EVERYTHING I record!!)...seems to come off. That, and the fact I cant afford a condenser!!
ILLbizzel - thanks for your input as well. This is the first cut off the track (about 2 hours work). I do take your point with the VOX - too low methinks - not much but a wee bit would do nicely..thanks for confirming this.
And as for drums - my friend - you have also confirmed my biggest gripe with my track - wether or not to add Drums halfway thru! I will do this and I even have the beat half planned (it HAS been 10 yrs as I said!! hehe). Anyway, I'll make a few ammendments over the next couple of days hopefully and repost a new version.
Thanks very much guys...appreciate your time to listen.
fortymile - I'll post those lyrics when I dig out the lyric sheet shortly..cheers again
Coco
May 01, 2004 06:35 pm This is actually one of my best songs. This version is the start rather than the end. I had considered leaving it just piano and vox but after you guys input plus input from others I've deceided to TRY and do it the way it should be done in my opinion - full hogg!
I plan some drums half way through, maybe some strings and a lone claptonesque guitar playing some solo riffs here and there... We'll see.
Here's the lyrics below...
America
They came from far, They came from near
They saw the party was a happening here
America, America
Belongs to me
They worked the land, They worked the soil
They worked their muscles and they did toil
America, America belongs to me
In the land of the eagle
In the land of the free
The land of the Lone Star
The land of liberty
America, America
REPEATS x 2
I actually loved this song so much I had it registered 10 years ago with 3 other songs I wrote with my lawyer for copyright. I never ever done this with ANY other song (bar these 3) but I'd done this with what I though were potentially my best songs at the time...in hinesight - it may be an idea to get my backside back down the lawyers and get it all done...
Just look at the Paul McCartney situation / Michael Jacskon/Sony - man, one half of the greatest songwritting partnership in history doesnt own the songs he and John Lennon wrote!!
Mental...
Anyway - cheers guys...Fortymile, hope these lyrics help you get the "feel" for the song a bit more...I'll repost another post when I get my final version done. Glad you liked it tho - thats what its all about after all.
Ta
Coco.
May 01, 2004 08:06 pm thanks for posting them, coco. i dig 'em. (unless, being from scotland and all, you mean these sentiments only ironically...)
:)
and i like illbizzel's suggestion. drums half way through would be awesome. sort of like 'exit music for a film' by radiohead.
May 02, 2004 04:36 am No irony at all...a genuine folk/rock song with genuine sentiments. I save my irony and sarcasim for my songs against the UK government/laws etc!!
I have family who moved to Boston...pleanty time for you guys!!
Im defo going for that idea with the drums with some other stuff. I may also do an accoustic only version with just my geeeeetar and vox.
Watch this space!
Coco.
May 02, 2004 07:31 am Coco, be aware the Lone Star is just a state in America (Texas), not a phrase of the country but just that state. :-)
I dunno why you need a lawyer for copyright, maybe things are different in your area...
May 02, 2004 08:10 am Aye..I know that Texas is the Lone Star state but it just seemed to fit in the song (and I couldnt think of a better line :-)!!
RE: Lawyer. That was just for official witness to when I'd written the songs and copyrighted them (via an unopened letter to myself!!). He holds a copy in his office off all my best stuff.
The main reason for this wee added step was a. it seemed wise as someone had ripped me off and tried to send MY song to a record label!! b. it was free!! Always a good incentive - due to the fact hed made a fortune on a house sale I had just done!
Anyways...thanks for listening...appreciate that
Coco.
Noize2uCzar of MidiAdministrator
Since: Apr 04, 2002
May 02, 2004 01:41 pm Coco, I dont know that I would actually bring the level of the vox up any as they site real well at least on my set-up.
I think maybe since it is going up against the piano that is what is misleading the listener to think they are low.
I would try some minor EQ adjustments to give them just a tinny bit more presence. If you have the vox on seperate tracks I would maybe suggest just bringing the mid-hi's on just one track (probly the delayed track) up just a tiny bit. If you are using a parametric use a pretty narrow Q setting and try experimenting from about 800hz to about 1200 hz. This could be cone up to maybe 1400 hz but if you have to go that high widen the Q just a tiny bit as you go up. I wouldnt go any higher up frequancy wise than that as it will again start messing with the piano sound.
Hopefully this will add just that bit of presence to the vox and seperate them fromthe piano.
Also, did you redo the Dead Flowers mix since I listened to it last. If so I wanna go hear it again.
Oh ya I almost forgot, I think the hat is what drives that tune along with the power it well deserves. Maybe just a tad over but not really.
Noize
May 02, 2004 04:18 pm Thanks for this Noize..I appreciate you taking the time to listen.
Aye - I'm thinking this could be what I need to do - EQ...for your setting advice - I thank you a lot as I didnt know where to start without ruining the EQ.
I'll mess with the 2nd vox track which is delayed as you say and I'll see how this sounds. This may just provide the cut it needs as it seems to blend too much with the piano.
Im also gonny add a drum track midway through. Like half time feel or something, which will mean I need the bass track as well (tho Im gettin into the new bass I bought!!). I am a lead guitarist by nature but Im finding this bass playing real fun - Im basically playing lead bass by default!! Greeatt!
RE: Dead Flowers, I've done a few minor alts with this one. Notched the VOX a tiny, tiny we bit and EQ'd them a tiny, tiny wee bit so I hope this does it for this song. The hat does defo stick out - I was gonny try messing with this but I was affraid it would ruin the EQ for the rest of the drums as they are 1 track...kinda stuck wiht it as it is!
Again - thanks for your input...
Im planning on working on America over the next couple of days and reposting a new version..I'll let y'all know when its done.
Cheers...
Coco.
tonyd1970The fat one always watches us.Member
Since: Nov 08, 2002
May 09, 2004 09:10 am Good stuff. it is a bit hard to pick out the words, Cant figure out why, but it is. The sound quality is super. Great Vox. Good song. thumbs up here.
May 12, 2004 04:43 pm Thanks for this Tony..I appreciate you taking out the time to listen and thanks for your input.
Aye - I will need to try the idea Noize suggested, I've not had time yet but I think some EQ may help with this - a few other folk have said the same thing so its defo a valid point.
Again...thanks for listening.
Coco.
Noize2uCzar of MidiAdministrator
Since: Apr 04, 2002
May 15, 2004 10:18 pm Let me know when ya get the new version up and I wil definately go have a listen.
TadpuiI am not a crook's headMember
Since: Mar 14, 2003
May 15, 2004 10:57 pm Good song here. Tough to find anything to suggest...
I guess it could use another element to it since it clocks in close to 5 minutes, consists of 2 voicings, and has a 2x repeating verse/chorus to it. You had mentioned adding drums, but maybe the element to add could be something more ambient (but I'm not sure what). This isn't screaming to be a power-ballad or anything, it has a much more pure kind of spirit to it and I think that drums and bass would start pushing it into that power-ballad territory.
May 16, 2004 04:19 pm I had thought about this for a long time and agree with you.
As soon as I add drums, I'll need bass and most probably geeeetar!
I think I'd rather avoid that now I've thought aboot it and have something as you suggest.
Maybe some strings i.e. an orchestra!! I dont want this one going doon the power ballad route as you say and its a good point you have.
I think, I will see if I, or anyone else can come up with a strings track and see how this sounds..subtly mixed - bit like a big movie score or something!!
Thanks for taking the time to listen and provide feedback..most welcome!
Cheers...
Coco.
TheTincanbugsloppy dice, drinks twiceMember
Since: Aug 05, 2003
May 20, 2004 08:13 am I like the song, it's got a nice mellow sound, and the vocals are sincere and sound great. I did feel like it could use a change after a few minutes, though, but that's just me. Good one, coco.
May 21, 2004 07:26 am Cheers buddy...
I do feel it needs something and I've come to the conclusion, from the start of the second verse I could use a big string/orchestra sound.
Like a switch, kicking right in at the start of the second verse til the end...maybe a few hundred oboes/ceilos/violins/etc!!
However, my arrangement skills fall ever so slightly short of this...I'll maybe see if I can get a bit of collab on the go for this one!!
Thanks for taking the time TCB..I appreciate it.
Coco.
MauzgrrrrrrrMember
Since: Mar 29, 2004
May 21, 2004 10:36 am How about putting your tunes on HRC? I would love to listen, but I just can't because work bans your link. (must be some kinky stuff) My home computer has turned into a dedicated DAW!
You do the kind style of stuff I am into.
May 21, 2004 06:33 pm I've just added a few to HRC but my 12MB limit will kick insoon. I'll add "America" to the HRC and remove another one so you can have a wee listen and let me know yer thoughts..
For some reason, my songs seem to be MB guzzlers!
Check out my songs now...
Cheers...
Coco.
P.S. Nae kinky stuff unfortunately..just a link to Soundclick...! :-)
May 21, 2004 07:27 pm Mauz, many work networks will filter out known bandwidth hogs like soundclick, mp3.com, atoms.com, live365.com and places like that because they don't want users peaking the bandiwdth usage on streaming media...prollyhas nothing to do with anything kinky...
