the skeleton of a rock song

Posted on

Member Since: Jan 18, 2003

www.nowhereradio.com/arti...785&alid=-1

it's been a long time since i've posted anything, so i thought i'd throw out this rough little thing, since i dig the chord progression. it's my first complete 'song' with fruity. cant say enough good things about that program for ease of programming.

disclaimer: no serious mixing or mastering has been done here. it's got no vocals yet. couple wrong notes. cymbals too loud. someone pointed out the panning is too far to the left (which is true--i've momentarily lost my motivation for mixing this). the drum samples themselves dont sound very real yet. the chorus guitars are too low (i think?) and uncompressed. there's no solo yet.

so yeah, it's very rough, but i wanted to get general opinions on the song itself, as well as to see if anyone sees anything they're compelled to caution me on regarding the mix. in particular, does the arrangement and instrumentation seem to work? i know simple songs can sound boring without vocals, but i tried to do some elementary stuff with changing up how the choruses arrive, leaving room for layering more instruments later, and making things build a bit toward the end. this is basically just an idea for what i hope can be a song with some good hooks and impact later on when i get back to it.

thanks, to any who give it a listen


[ Back to Top ]


sloppy dice, drinks twice
Member
Since: Aug 05, 2003


Nov 12, 2003 09:29 am

Sorry, fortymile, nowhere radio is still blocked at work. :( I tried...

sloppy dice, drinks twice
Member
Since: Aug 05, 2003


Nov 12, 2003 12:05 pm

It you can email it to me, I'd love to hear it

I can probably handle an attachment of just under 5 mb

If it's too much hassle, don't worry about it.

Member
Since: Apr 26, 2002


Nov 12, 2003 02:10 pm

The guitars sound a little out of tune to me...

Member
Since: Jan 18, 2003


Nov 12, 2003 03:39 pm

the guitars are a bit out of tune.

anyone else? i might be mistakenly thinking this is a good song. if it is not, i'd like to know, so that i dont waste my time on it.


Member
Since: Jul 02, 2003


Nov 12, 2003 08:07 pm

Well I think it has potential, but for me the vocals/melody will make or break this one. For the chorus I think your going to need some power and projection, in the vocals. I like the basic structure, chording and feel of the song. A strong drum track would be a plus as well.

Thats my feelings on it, so get to work! <G>

Dan

Member
Since: Jan 18, 2003


Nov 12, 2003 08:57 pm

yes the drums are boring.

i have a friend who always says all my guitar stuff is boring. everything i force her to listen to is just naked guitar and drums. no vocals and often no bass. i dont know, i guess i can hear the potential in this one. i'm so used to evaluating naked acoustic guitar songs from friends that i just assume people will listen for potential in incomplete songs since thats what i try to do. the only thing i dont like in this one is the verse chord progression. i just hope it's not coming across as somehow sappy or expected. i know that the structure is expected and unoriginal (but i think it works) but i figured that those out-of key chords in the chorus made it a bit more unusual than run of the mill alternarock. nah, forget it. it's boring.

oh well. thanks for listening olddog.

tincan unfortunately i cannot send because my email has a 3 mb limit. :(

sloppy dice, drinks twice
Member
Since: Aug 05, 2003


Nov 13, 2003 05:58 am

fortymile, if I ever find that I need to set myself up with some extr5a capacity or a backup place for my files, I go to mailpuppy.com and sign up for a free email account - they give you 10 mb of space and if you just want to use it once to send or store something (as an attachment to an email) and then forget it you can easily do that. But, you know, don't bother if you don't want to, I'm just pointing out the option.

Member
Since: Jan 18, 2003


Nov 13, 2003 06:19 am

tincan i tried to send it but mailpuppy has a small attachment size limit.


sloppy dice, drinks twice
Member
Since: Aug 05, 2003


Nov 13, 2003 07:29 am

well that's just a pain, huh? I didn't know about that. That's a shame.

Member
Since: Jan 18, 2003


Nov 13, 2003 01:45 pm

haha db--can i delete this thread? it doesn't deserve to exist. this is the most useless, personally disappointing thread i've ever produced.

Administrator
Since: Apr 03, 2002


Nov 13, 2003 02:10 pm

Not a chance :-)

Czar of Midi
Administrator
Since: Apr 04, 2002


Nov 13, 2003 05:33 pm

There are never any dissapointing threads. Some just take a bit to figure out.

...bringing sexy back
Member
Since: Jul 01, 2002


Nov 13, 2003 05:35 pm

i will, for a nominal fee!

Member
Since: Jan 18, 2003


Nov 13, 2003 06:49 pm

gosh. darn. i wish i could just get a straightforward "fortymile, that song sucks."

we must all rid ourselves of false ideas if we are to evolve.

Administrator
Since: Apr 03, 2002


Nov 13, 2003 06:54 pm

fortymile, that song sucks...

[size=1]I haven't even listened to it yet...[/size]

Member
Since: Jul 02, 2003


Nov 13, 2003 07:04 pm

Well I'd tell you it sucks, but then I'd be lying <G>

Dan

Czar of Midi
Administrator
Since: Apr 04, 2002


Nov 13, 2003 09:24 pm

OK, forty. I took a good hard listen. Other then the comments made by others I will say only this, there is the structure for one hell of an excellant tune there. The way it runs reminds me of something Alice Cooper would have writen back in the seventys. I am picturing soem pretty kool things listening to it.

So what I am telling you is no it doesnt suck!

There is a space soemwhere in there for one hell of a bridge. Lots and lots of possibiltys.

The drums are not really boring, they just need to be bigger in the mix. Soemtimes a straight forward drum track is better then an all out assault on the senses. That tune needs a drum track that swells and then subsides, back and forth with the power of the guitars.

I am partial to instrumentals myself, and I think you have a good start there. Some nice stretched out guitar solos with some slow sustained notes. Infact I can hear 2 guitars in my head playing a counter melody against each other. So dont quit on that tune. Work it baby, work it.

Peace

Noize 2 U

Member
Since: Jan 18, 2003


Nov 13, 2003 10:29 pm

well thanks, guys. this always happens to me. i'll like something for about two days then get sick of it and start to think it sucks. this is what happens when you dont have a band, you know? you have time to mess around and second guess things.

i'll work on it some more later. i might change the verse because it sounds weirdly spanish to me, which was an accident.

thanks for the input

Czar of Midi
Administrator
Since: Apr 04, 2002


Nov 13, 2003 10:46 pm

OK, now I gotta listen again. Weirdly Spanish? I didnt hear that in there the first time around.

Member
Since: Jan 18, 2003


Nov 14, 2003 01:11 am

it's that chord progression in the verse, d minor to A minor to E major and back to a minor. i think that the a minor to e major part of it comes out of the harmonic minor scale or something? it's actually a classical move, not a spanish one. if you take your guitar and play a minor then hit e major real quick, then go back to a minor, doesn't that sound like sort of a classical cadence? play it like you're playing the last three chords of some weird baroque symphony...

some bands use it to good effect. radiohead and muse use that progression a lot. but in this slow context, with the rhythm the way it is, it's just rubbing me wrong. and its somehow 'spanish.' i dunno.

Member
Since: Nov 21, 2002


Nov 14, 2003 04:35 pm

i like it alot, i think it has a ton of potential, but overall, its the vocal melody that is gonna make the song, as someone mentioned. I hear strong radiohead influences in this. I like it a lot, and let me know when its completed, i'm eager to see how the final product will sound.

Member
Since: Jan 18, 2003


Nov 14, 2003 10:19 pm

thanks, mang. will do.

Related Forum Topics:



If you would like to participate in the forum discussions, feel free to register for your free membership.