Stupidity and the natural process of ...

Hard to believe, but another year has passed ... (For those who don't know
about it, the Darwin Awards are awarded every year to the person(s) who
died in the stupidest way, thereby removing him or herself from the gene
pool...)

The Nominees Are:

NOMINEE No. 1: [San Jose Mercury News] An unidentified man, using a
shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend's windshield,
accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole
in his gut.

NOMINEE No. 2: [Kalamazoo Gazette] James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo,
Michigan, was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police
describe as a "farm-type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on
a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the
source of a troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught on something,however,
and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft!"

NOMINEE No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record] Ken Charles Barger,47,accidentally
shot himself to death in December in Newton, NC Awakening to the sound of
a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed
instead a Smith & Wesson .38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to
his ear.

NOMINEE No. 4: [UPI, Toronto] Police said a lawyer demonstrating the
safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane
with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman
said Gary Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank
Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the
building's windows to visiting law students. Hoy had previously conducted
demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter
Lawyers, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson told the Toronto
Sun newspaper that Hoy was one of the "best and brightest" members of the
200-man association".

NOMINEE No. 5: [Bloomberg News Service] A terrible diet and room with no
ventilation are being blamed for the death of a man who was killed by his
own gas. There was no mark on his body but an autopsy showed large amounts
of methane gas in his system. His diet had consisted primarily of beans
and cabbage (and a couple of other things). It was just the right
combination of foods. It appears that the man died in his sleep from
breathing the poisonous cloud that was hanging over his bed. Had he been
outside or had his windows been opened, it wouldn't have been fatal. But
the man was shut up in his near-airtight bedroom. According to the
article, "He was a big man with a huge capacity for creating "this deadly
gas." Three of the rescuers got sick and one was hospitalized.

NOMINEE No. 6: ["News of the Weird"] Michael Anderson Godwin made News of
the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South
Carolina's electric chair on a murder conviction! Before having his
sentence reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his
cell and attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was
electrocuted.

NOMINEE NO. 7: ["The Indianapolis Star"]. A cigarette lighter may have
triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk, Indiana. A Jay County man using a
cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle loader was killed Monday
night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff's investigators
said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home
about 11:30 p.m. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle
loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look
into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.

NOMINEE No. 8: [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario] A man cleaning a bird
feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb
slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. Stefan Macko, 55, was standing
on a wheeled chair when the accident occurred, said Inspector Arcy Honer
of the Peel Regional police. "It appears the chair moved and he went over
the balcony," Honer said.

AND FINALLY: (now, these two guys don't count because they aren't dead
...yet, but this is a goodie, nonetheless) [Arkansas Democrat Gazette] Two
local men were seriously injured when their pickup truck left the road and
struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday morning.
Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after
midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc and Billy Ray Wallis, 38,
of Little Rock are listed in serious condition at Baptist Medical Center.
The accident occurred as the two men were returning to Des Arc after a
frog-gigging trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pick-up truck
headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on
the older model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not
available, Wallis noticed that the 22-caliber bullet from his pistol fit
perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering wheel column. After
inserting the bullet, the headlights again began to operate properly and
the two men proceeded toward the White River Bridge. After traveling about
20 miles and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently
overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the right testicle. The vehicle
swerved sharply right exiting the pavement and striking a tree. Poole
suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident, but will require
surgery to repair the other wound. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and
was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when
Thurston shot his balls off or we might both be dead" stated Wallis. "I've
been a trooper for ten years in this part of the world, but this is a
first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident
happened," said Snyder. Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia, Poole's
wife asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from
the truck. (Way to go, Lavinia.)

Stupidity and the natural process of elimination