My afternoon adventure

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Head Knocker
Contributor Since: May 20, 2007

Earlier today, July 3, a friend and I went to an Albertson's market for Pepsi, beer, smokes, etc. He is the son of my best friend and is only 33.

We were in line to checkout and two lines over was a young lady in shorts that looked like they were painted on. She was approx. 5'-5", maybe 25 yrs old, and her legs went all the way to the ground. VERY nice on the eyes. I stepped close to my buddy and said, "Ya' know, her legs go right up and make an a$$ out of themselves" in a whisper. He looked at her and then me and whispered to me, "OK Chester the Molestor, calm down now".

Well, I then noticed the lady in line ahead of us and she is glaring at me and Robert, like she had heard our little comments. She is maybe 40ish.

She leaves, we checkout, and we go out, get in my truck, and drive off.

As soon as I left the parking lot and was on the street, I was lit up by one of San Bernardino County's deputies. I pulled over, he came to the window and said, "Well guys, I guess your plans just didn't pan out, did they?"

I said, "I beg your pardon, sir..." He said, I just ruined your little party , eh?"

I said, "Uhh, sir, I don't know what you mean, there's no party.."

"The cute chick in the store, you know" he said. I said, "No, I don't know, what do you mean?"

"Weren't you two discussing following a chick in shorts and molesting her while you were in the store?" I thought a second and it all came together. The 40ish biddy thaught Robert had said "Chase her and molest her," instead of Chester the Molestor. She had seen the cop in the parking lot and pointed us out to him.

I struggled to keep from bustin' out in guffaws, and told the deputy the real, exact content of our remarks about the chick. He looked at both of us, then kinda' stared down the street a minute, and said, "I'll go for that. It sounds more likely than the other story I got about you two..."

He handed me my license, and said, "You two be careful now, there are dangerous women about."

We drove off, and he u-turned and disappeared. Neither of us laughed until we got back to my house.

It could have had a VERY different outcome.

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Administrator
Since: Apr 03, 2002


Jul 04, 2007 10:07 am

Whoa...crazy.

On one hand, it is very good when I hear stories of people that get involved when they suspect something. On the other hand, be damn sure before you do...

That could have been very fugly...

Typo Szar
Member
Since: Jul 04, 2002


Jul 04, 2007 10:26 am

Thats an odd and funny story, but if i met that woman id probably tell her that, if i was part of a molesting duo we'd probably have somekind of special code word instead of just blurting out in ear shot to "go conduct sexual assault on that specific human being there".

Just a thought

Head Knocker
Contributor
Since: May 20, 2007


Jul 04, 2007 11:09 am

I'm with you dB. I had to admire the 'tattletale' for not just sitting back and doin' nothing when she thought she knew something.

But, I really do respect the young deputy who honestly, impartially evaluated the entire situation, and made a common sense judgement. So many law officers just detain, arrest, and transport the suspects and let others figure it out, usually after 72 hrs in jail and a visit before a judge. I think this guy will end up with stripes on his sleeve.

I wish I knew where Ms. Longleggs went, hehehe....

If I ever see the tattletale, I'll pretend I've never seen her before.

Hold 'Em Czar
Member
Since: Dec 30, 2004


Jul 04, 2007 12:25 pm

hehe not too long ago i was drinkin' at my bar and and older dentist friend of mine was playin' pool...i went up and said hey to him and noticed two hotties playin' pool on the adjacent table.....i whispered to him "i wouldn't mind havin' some of that on my lap" or something to that effect (you know, guy talk) and he said "those are my daughters...and their husbands" he then called them over to us and made me tell them (i'm laughing out loud as i type this) exactly what i said and apologize to them personally....lucky he didn't get their husbands involved....but man was i embarrassed! lesson learned: careful what you say!

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