Feb 20, 2006 07:04 pm Very nice piece. I think the instrumental is compelling enough by itself. Needs to be developed of course. I'd like to hear just the piano part solo. I find the piece very enjoyable.
Not Sure What Direction To Go With This Piece. Any Suggestions?
Posted on Feb 20, 2006 03:17 pm
Fuzzy
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Member Since: Dec 25, 2005
I began writing this on the piano earlier today just playing around, but I'm really enjoying the feel of it. The problem is, I can't decide whether to take it into a full orchestral piece, or perhaps borrow one of my friends to lay down a vocal track for it. Any suggestions (or comments in general) are greatly appreciated.
media.putfile.com/PianoPart
Thanks again! =)
-Adam
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Feb 20, 2006 07:04 pm Very nice piece. I think the instrumental is compelling enough by itself. Needs to be developed of course. I'd like to hear just the piano part solo. I find the piece very enjoyable.
Feb 20, 2006 07:29 pm Thanks for the comment. Here's just the piano part for you:
media.putfile.com/JustPiano
If you want to try and play it yourself, it's just a simple chord progression. I don't have it notated but I'm sure you can figure out the right hand. (Going to try and do this from memory, don't have time to go back and check right now).
C - F7 - a - e - F - C - F - C 2ndinversion - G
C - F7 - a - e - F - C - F - C 2ndinversion - G - E 1stinversion
a - F - C - G - E 2ndinversion
a - F - C 2ndinversion - G
Feb 21, 2006 09:35 pm Very thematic really. The progresion is moves along nicely and stays interesting, keeping the listener waiting for more. Even as short as it is you can hear that it wants to go somewhere else as it moves along.
Have you thought of moving it through that first part and then into something with a little bit faster beat?
I am going to listen a bit more and see if I can hear a differant direction to pursue with it.
Feb 23, 2006 07:58 pm Thanks for the comment Noize. I've been really sick this week so working on this song has been hard. I tried tacking on a little today with a splitting headache, but I'm not sure it turned out quite as I heard it in my head. I figure it will be good to throw it up because I'd like to get in some comments as I'm reeling from my illness.
media.putfile.com/piano2
Thanks
-Adam
Feb 23, 2006 11:17 pm Love the piano work in there. The added progresion is great. I only had a quick listen but it sounds like you headed in a good direction with it from the short bit that is up there.
Sorry to hear about the headache.
Noize
Feb 24, 2006 08:50 am I like the added changes. You could break up the rhythm a little more. I like change of key myself. Sounds like you have a direction... go with it!
Feb 24, 2006 09:47 am I agree DungBeatle. I'm going to go back and maybe play with the cello part a bit to try and make it feel more like the first part. Technically it already changed keys once. It goes from C to the relative minor, a, then for some reason I decided to go into d minor.
There's something strange I can't seem to figure out. If you listen to the chord at 1:06, you can clearly hear the cello. Maybe it's just me, but it sounds like it is at first out of tune, but then fades into tune. I know the note doesn't change pitches, and I'm wondering if maybe I'm just hearing things...
Thanks
-Adam
Feb 24, 2006 11:19 pm Fuzzy, I listened several times and I cant hear anything that sounds out of tune or place at 1:06. There does seem to be a meeting of notes at that point, but nothing that would be detracting.
Feb 25, 2006 12:03 am It sounds like you have some good ideas in this "sketch"; I like the sound of the piano.
Have you considered starting with only piano and then bringing in strings later? One weakness of this piece so far, in my opinion, is that all of the ideas are handed out at once instead of terracing them to build interest as it progresses.
Also, despite any harmonic changes added, there really isn't a significant change towards the end in the second version you posted. For example, although there are some new chords introduced, the harmonies still seem to pivot around the same main theme you introduced at the beginning. In fact, sometimes it is virtually the same only using substitution chords for the original instances. Of course, there are some minor chords thrown in, but that doesn't necessarily alter the function of the progression - e.g., a minor v chord will usually function the same way a major V would.
So, in a nutshell, this is what I would recommend:
1. Try to pyramid the energy levels in the piece rather than having a stable level that seems to continue throughout the entire work, possibly by making the texture thinner at first and adding auxiliary voices such as strings later. As it is, the intensity level is rather constant with very little contour.
2. Rather than hanging around very similar thematic material even during perceived changes, you might consider making a more drastic change. In classical form, for example, with a typical A and B section used, the A section would often start on I (like you have) and the B would often land on the dominant (V) or even a minor vi. In this type of music, you are free to do what you want, so you could consider going to IV or ii or anything else that seems reasonable.
3 Related to No.2, you might want to focus on figuring out what you want the form of the piece to be, which might depend on lyrics if you are choosing to add vocals. From my experience, completing the form is a huge step towards completing the song.
4. Add dimension to the orchestration by incorporating a higher range of strings or other instruments in addition to the low cello.
5. Finally, depending on what you want, you could always change the pace from section to section, either rhythmically or with the tempo.
In any case, I like what you have so far, and I think you could make a nice piece out of it if you keep working on it. I hope this helps.
Feb 28, 2006 07:13 pm i think it sounds nice. im a plain kinda guy, and thats nice vanilla stuff. i like it.
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