Demo with possible band for me

Posted on

Member Since: Apr 08, 2004

Hey guys, wonder if i can ask what you think of this tune. I was sent the music by 3 young guys who are looking for a singer/songwriter, so i've added an idea to it. Do you reckon we got something here, or is it decidely average? Any honest comments welcome (mostly interested in what you think of my part in all of this though ;))

neuaddsibly.net/music/canvas_call2.wma


Canvas Call
------------

Evening sun beats down on my arms
I see the colours stretch before me, forever
I take a picture of the evenings bright horizon
Every shade explains a story

My canvas call, seven colours fading
Canvas call, it picks me up when i'm down
Through it all, it's what i'm truly feeling
My canvas call

An' so you sit down for your portrait
But you don't hold still for one moment, one second now
I take a cloth an' wipe the smudges from your eyebrow
You see it just an artist's torment

My canvas call, seven colours fading
Canvas call, it picks me up when i'm down
Through it all, it's what i'm truly feeling
It's my canvas call, it's my canvas call

Morning sun beats down on my arms
I see the paint stretch out before me, forever now
I take a photo of the lovely dull horizon
Every picture tells a story

My canvas call, seven colours fading
Canvas call, it picks me up when i'm down
Through it all, it tells me what i'm truly feeling
It's my canvas call, oh you've seen my canvas call

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Bohemian
Member
Since: May 04, 2003


Nov 15, 2004 04:09 pm

I like it, Like the Vocals
the Music and Beat are cool too 8)

There 's one thing I don't really like
but that's just my matter of taste, it's the
Bending of the Calls, and All in the Chorussus

And maybe some Harmony's during the chorussus
or just the last 2 chorussus in a way to Build it up

But that's just my Opinion

But again, Great Music, Great vocals

Czar of Cheese
Member
Since: Jun 09, 2004


Nov 15, 2004 07:26 pm

I think you gots somethin' here! I didn't quite get what your part in all of this was...

The lyrics are great...I love the imagery and the overall flow. Music is great...very accessible melody. I would be very happy to have written this.

Recording is a good demo. Drums probably need fine tuning, guitars are good. Vocals are awesome!

Jim

Member
Since: Apr 22, 2004


Nov 15, 2004 10:16 pm

Hey NS...I ditto Jim and Presley re vox...

My favourite lyrics are:

I take a cloth an' wipe the smudges from your eyebrow
You see it just an artist's torment

Cheers,

BM

Member
Since: Apr 08, 2004


Nov 16, 2004 03:57 am

Thanks people for your comments! Having not met the guys yet, i have no idea what their recording set up is, but i assume this was a rehearsal room recording. Basically Jim, all i've done is written lyrics vocal melody and sung it against what they sent me.

I shouldve actually said that if doing it properly, i would definitely add harmonies Presley... my bad in not mentioning it. ;) And point taken about the bending Pres... i do that too often without even realising it, which in itself can get pretty stale pretty quick.

Two of these guys are 21 and the bassist is just seventeen. I think theyre pretty darn good for that, it's just a question of whether this style suits me and whether i suit this style. My problem is, i find it quite easy to write average songs to whatever music gets sent my way.... so i try to find out if my ideas are just average songs or more than that. It's a hard task, but your opinions help a lot so thanks again!

Czar of Cheese
Member
Since: Jun 09, 2004


Nov 16, 2004 11:52 am

I think that this effort is ABOVE average! I'm impressed that you were able to structure a song around nothing more than a backing track...basically chord changes. Your lyrics and melody fit their music very well. If it were me...I would run it up the flagpole and see who salutes!

Jim

Hello!
Member
Since: Jan 12, 2004


Nov 16, 2004 05:05 pm

Hey bud

I think this is pretty cool - kinda sounded a little like a Chilli's song at the start which is cool. Also sounds like a stereophonics vibe too which a cool combo (Chillis/Phonics)

Nice vocals...good lyrics and a nice tune going on there. Good vocal sound

Mixing seems good enough and the song itself is cool. So, as far as I can see, its a thumbs up for me.

Good bass lines here too...cool.

Good effort buddy.

Coco.

Member
Since: Apr 08, 2004


Nov 17, 2004 03:46 am

Thanks peeps. I've actually decided not to follow up this band though. It was a bit too much of a struggle to get this song down... really hard to explain.... i just dont think it's me, at least not the natural me. I think all i can put it down to is the funk... i dont think i blend well with it, at least not naturally. I often write songs against what are essentially just ready-made backing tracks when collabin on the net actually, and...i dunno, they just sound more natural and click better. Sorry, it's so hard to explain this. Maybe an example is the best way...a recent collab, where i did pretty much the same thing i did here, with far better result IMO:
www.artistcollaboration.c...ung_an_Keen.wma

Guess it's all about clicking with the right people and the right style, and in real life it's appearing to be harder than on the web!!!



Member
Since: Apr 08, 2004


Nov 17, 2004 02:32 pm

OK, how bout this one. This is much more me, and i instictively feel at home with this guy even though i've never met him...

It's just a rough jam scratch track he sent, and i've added vocals lyrics etc.

neuaddsibly.net/music/become_idea.wma


Become
------

Is it safe to come out?
I hope to find what I've become
Shall I wait? Coz now I'm shaking inside
I fear the pictures of what I've become

So call an' call can you hear me?
Is this for you or for me?

This pain, feel it close again
I know you find it hard, but hear me out
The hate, contempt, the dread, a thousand thoughts within my head
I still fear the consequence of what I've become

So call an' call can you hear me?
Call, is it better for me?
Call, an' call can you hear me?
Is this for you or for me?

Bohemian
Member
Since: May 04, 2003


Nov 17, 2004 02:46 pm

That sounds Cool Sibly

I really have Nothing to say about it except it soundsd great

veryy nice

Member
Since: Apr 08, 2004


Nov 18, 2004 03:48 am

Thanks, that already is something ;)
BTW....Tell Ricardo i'm gonna get round to finishing This Fight real soon!!!!!

Bohemian
Member
Since: May 04, 2003


Nov 19, 2004 07:28 am

Ohh cool
He's been in Germany for the last 2-3 months or so

But he gets here every weekend so I'll tell him to drop by

Greets
Presley

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