What IS the most retarded thing you've ever heard?

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Eat Spam before it eats YOU!!!
Member Since: May 11, 2002

This is an offshoot from another completely unrelated forum where there was a sudden rash of stupidity... but:

we all say "Thats the most retarded thing I've ever heard" ... but I wonder... what IS the most retarded thing you've ever heard?

Mine was when a guy I was doing some paperwork on in the military couldn't remember if he was convicted of domestic violence... we could understand not remembering the act... but the conviction should have stood out... :)

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Ne'er ate 'er
Member
Since: Apr 05, 2006


Mar 18, 2007 12:30 am

Sorry Zek, but I can't isolate just one. You must remember I played in bar bands for a couple of decades. After about the first ten years you stop logging them in your diary...

Eat Spam before it eats YOU!!!
Member
Since: May 11, 2002


Mar 18, 2007 12:41 am

maybe we could limit it to sober people then? :)

Typo Szar
Member
Since: Jul 04, 2002


Mar 18, 2007 12:58 am

Not to be a stickler, but i think alot of ppl would take offense to word "retarded". I use it in the same way, but in closed cirlces, just sayin, maybe teh word dumbest is the least derogatory term u could use.

Ne'er ate 'er
Member
Since: Apr 05, 2006


Mar 18, 2007 02:05 am

OK, let's restart the thread.

What's the most (choose your politically correct adjective from the list below):

a. Intellectually Challenged

b. Differently Able

c. Specially Gifted

d. Focking Stupid

<Insert your choice here and continue> thing you have ever heard?

Administrator
Since: Apr 03, 2002


Mar 18, 2007 07:35 am

Sitting in a judge-mandated treatment program about 15 years ago, the counselor was talking about pot and how it's addictive yada, yada, yada.

One of my "classmates" said something along the lines of "addictive? pfffft, it's not addictive I have smoked it every single day for the last 10 years".

Of course, that is the same guy who was doing some painting for side work, and came to class with some paint on his eyelashes and asked about how to get it off, me and another had him convinced acetone would work...

crux is obviously a leftie... :-D

Member
Since: Aug 13, 2005


Mar 18, 2007 09:02 am

A long time ago I went through a cookery phase.When the class teacher was talking about flat fish and how they used to swim upright but for camouflage ended up swimming on one side,over thousands of years the eye being dragged in the sand ended up on the edge and one on top.Then this guy said "Eh,how long do they live then" !!!

Eat Spam before it eats YOU!!!
Member
Since: May 11, 2002


Mar 18, 2007 09:19 am

well I did look at the thesaurus and though mentally handicapped isn't a synonym... dumdum is...

#gasp# DB! I'm assuming he never saw you again?...

Administrator
Since: Apr 03, 2002


Mar 18, 2007 10:35 am

hehehe, after class we thought he actually might do it so we caught up with him and told him we were joking and not to do it.

Typo Szar
Member
Since: Jul 04, 2002


Mar 18, 2007 10:57 am

Im more of a midly, i actually dont mind it at all personally. but everyboard ive ever been one that has had a similar thread.. someone ALWAYS has to get all bunched up in a knot about it. i dont know, i guess i just wanted to point that out.

Administrator
Since: Apr 03, 2002


Mar 18, 2007 11:10 am

well, you are right tho, somebody will get their undies in a bunch...

Time Waster
Member
Since: Jan 12, 2006


Mar 18, 2007 04:04 pm

I have an online system that sends me a notice when people fail to login so I can see the login name and password that they enter. This one person entered:

login name: CaSe
password: SenSiTivE!

I realized, it was my own fault. I have this statement that's included in some bulk email we send out to faculty:

Please Note: Your login name and password are CaSe SenSiTivE!

pop music
Member
Since: Sep 27, 2005


Mar 18, 2007 04:15 pm

At a local hotel fire here in town a few days ago, the news coverage stated the fire was 'limited to one unit... had the fire spread, the damage would have been much worse. Back to you in the studio.'

www.TheLondonProject.ca
Member
Since: Feb 07, 2005


Mar 18, 2007 07:20 pm

One time working tech support we issued a password which was something like PASSWoRD. They were having troubles logging in because they couldn't find the small "zero".

Answer:On a good day, lipstick.
Member
Since: Jun 24, 2004


Mar 19, 2007 11:31 am

Long time ago....(yeah, yeah, "galaxy far, far away... ")...

Friend of a friend, not the sharpest knife in the drawer, we're all sitting around bullsh**ting and he suddenly leaps up and starts gagging, coughing, spitting......
We were a little concerned, but also in stitches laughing because (a) it was him, and (b) stoned or something...

Finally he settled down a bit. He'd got a hair in his mouth...Nasty? Yeah, but his explanation:

"If you swallow a hair, you get COLLAR..."
(I believe he meant cholera).

Where did he learn that?


Administrator
Since: Apr 03, 2002


Mar 19, 2007 11:32 am

Quote:
Where did he learn that?


Probably from the same girl that says "you can't get pregnant your first time"...

patron saint of quality footwear
Member
Since: May 30, 2002


Mar 19, 2007 11:48 am

This sounds like a bad blonde joke but I swear it's true.

Years ago while working in a restaurant, we had a set of swinging double doors which led from the dining room to the kitchen. There were no signs on either door but it was expected that you kept to the right hand side and almost everyone followed this with no problems. Well, we had this one waitress who just could not keep it straight.

One afternoon after maybe her 3rd or 4th near accident, I asked her why she had such a hard time remembering to stick to the right and she told me she had a lot of stuff to remember and that this wasn't really a priority to her. Incredulous, I told her I didn't think it was all that much to remember, I said it was akin to driving her car and I asked her what side of the road she drove on.

Her reply? "It depends which way I'm going."

Czar of Turd Polish
Member
Since: Jun 20, 2006


Mar 19, 2007 01:34 pm

Mine was while doing help desk about 7 years ago. I was trying to walk this guy through a simple computer process like setting up e-mail or something. When I asked him to right click the shortcut he said he couldn't get to the buttons. Turns out he was using one of those old kensington track balls, the big square kind, and had it upside down and was using it like a regular mouse. I held my tongue until the call was over and then we all had a great laugh.

Chief Cook and Bottle Washer
Member
Since: May 10, 2002


Mar 20, 2007 10:22 am

The term 'politicaly correct' is based on the postulate that you can pick up a turd from the clean end.

Ne'er ate 'er
Member
Since: Apr 05, 2006


Mar 20, 2007 05:53 pm

Oh yeah, I just remembered one.

A long time ago, I was watching 60 Minutes, and my 14 year old stepson wanted to have the TV so he could play video games. He looked at me very seriously and asked, "How long is 60 Minutes?"

www.TheLondonProject.ca
Member
Since: Feb 07, 2005


Mar 20, 2007 07:18 pm

A few years back my daughter asked me where I got all the big black CD's from (referring to LP's)

Time Waster
Member
Since: Jan 12, 2006


Mar 20, 2007 08:43 pm

But that's REALLY CUTE! Bless her heart...

Administrator
Since: Apr 03, 2002


Mar 20, 2007 08:54 pm

that is cute, what a riot.

A small pie will soon be eaten
Member
Since: Aug 26, 2004


Mar 20, 2007 09:05 pm

Mate of mine won a bug f&%k off Plasma TV.

He lives in a single room studio type thing and had no TV stand to put it on, so it just sat on the floor making it awkward to watch.

He did, however, have a coffee table that he was desperately trying to get rid of as it got in the way.

For months he faced these dilemma’s until I came over and suggested he put the TV on the Coffee table!

I swear you could see the light bulb above his head.

Answer:On a good day, lipstick.
Member
Since: Jun 24, 2004


Mar 21, 2007 11:17 am

Big black CDs....Awwwwwww, that's not dumb, that's so cute.

A similar one was a chap I used to work with. He was in an 'antique' store (they never have actual antiques...) and his son found a telephone with a rotary dial. He stood looking at it for a few minutes and then asked how it worked....Cute.

- John Larroquette on 'House' - "What's this? It says "Ip...od"

www.TheLondonProject.ca
Member
Since: Feb 07, 2005


Mar 21, 2007 11:28 am

Ya, I should clarify that I didn't think it was dumb what my daughter had said. I thought it was cute as well. I just put it in this thread because.... well, I guess because there wasn;t a things you've heard that you thought was cute thread.

...bringing sexy back
Member
Since: Jul 01, 2002


Mar 21, 2007 08:04 pm

its alright until she starts tryin to stuff them 'big cds' into the little cd tray

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