Need some feedback on a song

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Cone Poker
Member Since: Apr 07, 2002

it's called work in progress under electronica

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The fat one always watches us.
Member
Since: Nov 08, 2002


Sep 29, 2004 11:21 am

Loved it- made my butt wiggle. quite a diffrence from flames snow song. Good stuff, very full the deep end is nice and tight- not sloppy at all. thumbs up here.

Cone Poker
Member
Since: Apr 07, 2002


Sep 29, 2004 12:15 pm

thanks, makes me feel good inside when other people enjoy what I made... do you have any suggestions though as to how to make it better?

...bringing sexy back
Member
Since: Jul 01, 2002


Sep 29, 2004 12:34 pm

its very trance dude, with that synth at the start, then i goes all eighties until the synth comes in again

im not a fan of that trance sound, but the musicianships good and its commercial, thats for sure...good one!

Cone Poker
Member
Since: Apr 07, 2002


Sep 29, 2004 12:44 pm

I like trance, and I like 80s, what can I say lol

...bringing sexy back
Member
Since: Jul 01, 2002


Sep 29, 2004 12:53 pm

nah, thats cool man, dont get me wrong...i can appreciate the tune totally, just not the genre in my opinion

its stil good...

Cone Poker
Member
Since: Apr 07, 2002


Sep 29, 2004 02:46 pm

well I appreciate the kind words nonetheless.. This was one of the songs I was talking to you on MSN about flame. I got another I wanna put up, but it's slow and boring and very dirgy... probably should put some lyrics too it.

...bringing sexy back
Member
Since: Jul 01, 2002


Sep 29, 2004 05:16 pm

dirgy sounds good...makes me think velvet underground...

Cone Poker
Member
Since: Apr 07, 2002


Sep 29, 2004 06:57 pm

nah it's not like the underground at all, although now thinking about it I wanna do an electronica cover of Sweet Jane

Cone Poker
Member
Since: Apr 07, 2002


Sep 30, 2004 03:01 pm

I can't decide if this song is done or not... what does everyone think?

Czar of Midi
Administrator
Since: Apr 04, 2002


Sep 30, 2004 10:27 pm

Loki, if you do a cover of Sweet Jane, I want in. I have started differant versions of that over the years and never been able to finish them as I get frustrated by it. Its a simple damn tune but once I get going I get stuck and then just shut it donw from frustration.

Anyway, I like the dub/trance tune. It would play well at a rave. Just a bit of change and then back into the void. The only opinion I can give on wether it is done or not is if you hear somdthing else that might belong in it then try it out. When I listened for the second time I could hear where you could put bits of stuff here and there to tweak it up a bit. Maybe some brighter tones here and there, very subtle though so they dont take away from the trance effect. They should just come and go very softly, almost unoticed as it were.

Cone Poker
Member
Since: Apr 07, 2002


Oct 01, 2004 01:29 am

noize - yeah you can definatly be in on the sweet jane cover. I don't even know where to begin, because as you said it is a simple tune but I can't figure out how to play it on keys.

...bringing sexy back
Member
Since: Jul 01, 2002


Oct 01, 2004 03:28 am

heres ya chords lokester...

www.fretplay.com/tabs/v/v..._jane-crd.shtml

Cone Poker
Member
Since: Apr 07, 2002


Oct 01, 2004 01:07 pm

sweet, I pretty much assumed it was a d ,a g, b pattern, and that's how I play it on guitar, but the B sounds out of place on keys

Prince of Cat Ears
Member
Since: Jun 17, 2004


Oct 01, 2004 03:31 pm

I really like the groove of the piece (and I guess this also answers my question about Sweet Jane, doesn't it?). The only suggestion I'd make is one of personal taste. It's a piece with a lot of momentum as much as the synth sound makes you want to zone straight to the moon. Unfortunately, the drum sounds you're using don't capitalize as much as I personally would. I'd suggest going for something a bit punchier, but I've always tended to favor percussion that sounds close to a live drummer even in electronic music, so maybe I'm just a looney. Really cool piece though.

Czar of Midi
Administrator
Since: Apr 04, 2002


Oct 04, 2004 10:11 pm

Loki, I did a version years ago using lots of keys in it. I will try to find the midi file for it and send it your way when I find it. If you read music I can send ya the score for it as well.

Frisco's Most Underrated
Member
Since: Jan 28, 2003


Oct 05, 2004 12:16 am

I had a hard time listening to this one, since I couldn't download it, and I'm on dial up. I got it 3 seconds at a time. But the synth definitely has a good trancy tone.

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