Dec 01, 2008 06:01 pm Doesn't Chernobyl have a computer virus as a tribute?
Ever look in to Bitterville, the Russian city near a nuclear meltdown point? Yeah, great story, average life expectancy of like 30 or something...
WIP: A tribute/first attempt at lyrics.
Posted on Dec 01, 2008 05:45 pm
J-bot
Byte-Mixer
Member Since: Dec 04, 2007
Well, I don't have the music down yet, and my brain keeps bouncing back and forth between a few different ideas. But I thought I'd post the lyrics at least, and get an idea.
This song is/will be a tribute to the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. series of games, and also kinda as a remembrance of the Chernobyl disaster. The tentative title is "Children of Pripyat"
Here's the lyrics/general structure. I'm pretty happy with the wording now, but I may still make some minor changes.
-----------------------------------(c) James W. Pennington 2008
Children of Pripyat Lyric Ideas
Intro: (instrumental--softly, and build into verse 1)
Verse 1:
Ghosting through bleak landscapes
Nothing but empty buildings
Roads cracked split and torn
Nothing but debris around me.
Passing by empty homes.
Passing through empty schools.
Not one child playing here.
Not one soul living here.
[Chorus:
[City's dead but not forgotten.
[Nothing moving cept the wind.
[Always ever reaching skyward
[Children swaying silently
[
[City's dead but not forgotten.
[Nothing moving cept the wind.
[climbing up through the rubble.
[Children dancing in the dust.
(--trail off on dust then build through verse 2)
Verse 2:
Stalking like a ghostly shadow
Down these broken streets,
Kicking up dust as I go
The eerie silence deafening.
Walking through this broken city.
Eyes always gazing upward.
Seeing arms reaching skyward
Ever grasping climbing.
[Chorus:
(change key to bridge)
Verse 3: (Bridge)
Wind blowing up the dust
Leaves shaking next to rust
The hands of children waving
Silently as I pass by.
Ghosting through these shattered ruins
While all about me singing
Voices of children making
Songs silent and deafening.----(lead into solo work)
(Solo/Shredding; die off and come in softly, return to orig. key)
Verse 4:
People visit this place no more
Vacant empty decrepit torn.
Those who lived those who died
Lives passed but not forgotten.
Shades of green all about me.
now living midst the ruin.
Growing up next to decay
Climbing up through the rubble.
Rising up from dirt and clay
The city has a new life now.
Nothing like you or me,
New children live here now.
[Chorus:?
Outro: (instrumental)
-----------------------------------
Hopefully I can start laying down some instruments this weekend. But for now, enjoy the pseudo-poetry heh.
Opinions are all good too.
-J
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Dec 01, 2008 06:01 pm Doesn't Chernobyl have a computer virus as a tribute?
Ever look in to Bitterville, the Russian city near a nuclear meltdown point? Yeah, great story, average life expectancy of like 30 or something...
Dec 02, 2008 08:18 pm Interesting indeed.
I'll be waiting to hear this to music. Poetry, yea it does have that kind of flow to it for sure.
Dec 02, 2008 08:30 pm kenn as to hear the music.
lyrics ae good.
Dec 02, 2008 10:43 pm Yeah, not that I have much of a singing voice, but I'll try and get something up here over the weekend.
Dec 10, 2008 11:28 pm Okay, uploaded a WIP on www.thesixtyone.com/jbot
This is by no means a complete work. I've only spent a couple days on it so far, and I may scrap the entire thing because it's deviated quite a bit from my original ideas up top.
Anyway, the synth lead is pretty close to the melody I have in mind for the vocals. The bass and drums probably still need some work. I'm fairly satisfied with the guitar chords even though they're sampled, but i may tweak them a bit ( I really need to learn to play one of these days. ) I may tweak em with a little hi-pass to get em out of the bass's way.
I still may do another take on the synth lead and bass. I may have to lower the key as well, since I've had to break out the rubber band once or twice for the chorus, and I'm not exactly a trained singer.
Oh, and it's long. :P runs about 7 minutes. I should probably shorten "shredd'n" section a bit. I think I got a little carried away. I could probably chop off about 16 bars without much trouble. :P
Anyway, it's up, needs a lot of work...and may ultimately turn into something completely different if I hit a better idea and start over.
Working on rock kinda makes me feel a little out of my element, but it's a start, and quite a bit of fun.
-J
Dec 12, 2008 11:40 pm That was too cool. I can hear the idea completely. I was trying to get the lyrics going in my head as well.
I liked the guitar thing, sampled or not. and ya a little filter work would make it pretty cool. I would almost go the automated route like Daft Punk and let it work a little bit with a filter moving it about sonically. Just thinking out loud there.
And honestly, 7 minutes didn't really seem that long. But then again, I kind of dig longer jammy kind of stuff.
I kind of liked the bass sound myself, maybe just a little more beef to it I guess. The drums as well for this might do well to have a bit more beefy sound as well.
I'm going too have to listen a bit louder tomorrow as it was kind of quiet and I don't think headphones will do this justice here tonight.
Dec 13, 2008 03:34 am Hehe, glad you liked it. I had my sys-admin give it a listen as well since he digs rock and harder stuff, and he's been pushing me to finish this up. He definitely liked what I have so far. So much that he contacted an old friend of his. Ever heard of Tom Leadon? Brother of Bernie Leadon....yeah...I about fell over. Anyway, Tom said it sounded like it'd be a good one to throw at the younger audiences, but also to do an acoustic version for the older audiences, which I think I'll do. If I can get my voice up to snuff, I may release it as a duo digitally. Have to think about that one.
The bass should be an easy fix. I'm using 4front's bass module, which seems to have a bit of an uneven gain around 100hz or so, so I notched it down. Probably a little too much. For the amp sims, I'm using good ole freeamp2 from fretted synth. I may try the version 3 freeamp on the bass just to play with the sounds.
I'll play with he mixer settings in jamstix2 to see if I can get a little more out of the drums. Maybe a smidge compression would help get that punch.
As for the rest, cept for the notch around 100hz on the bass, I used a lowpass, and a highpass on the guitars down to around 100hz as well. I think it worked pretty well I think. Guitars I used hard pan left and right with a little spread. I may try adding a wee bit of chorus too to see what kinda feel I can get. Might experiment with the filter too.
I've been pondering how to tweak it to get some more variation between left and right to play with the ears a bit. Think I've got some ideas brewing now, which is usually a good sign.
The hard part's gonna be the vocals cause I can't get that moody sound worth a damn :P Guess I could try shouting at the mic for an hour or so haha.
I'll probably remove the synth lead and record the vocals against the bare track, because the synth deviates quite a bit from the rhythm, and keeps messing me up, bah. Then I'll re-record the lead after the vocals are in...and probably give another shot/having fun with jamming ;) I'm using good ole oatmeal for the synth, added a little chorus and phaser as well to juice it up. Also want to extend the drum solo a little more, or at least make it a bit more interesting.
Lot of work to do still on this one, but I think I can polish it into a mighty fine little gem. :D
Dec 13, 2008 08:37 am Cool, can't wait to hear were it ends up.
I'll be listening to this version again later today. Gotta go play Santa in about an hour for the kids of Savage.
Dec 18, 2008 02:45 am Update: Beefed up the bass and percussion a bit. Definitely more satisfied with the overall sound there now. No vocals yet; still need to get that part down, which will take some practicing/woodshedding on my part. Also, having a cold right now isn't helping haha, but maybe it'll help the tone a little after I'm well again.
I'm going to try my best to get a roughly finished version out before xmas. Reason being I'm heading up with the fiancee` and her parents to spend Christmas with them, which means I'll be away from working on music for a few days.
Dec 18, 2008 10:42 pm I'll give it another listen tomorrow for sure. I'm anxious to hear how it is progressing.
Dec 19, 2008 09:12 pm Yep, moving along nicely for sure. I put on phones this time and cranked it up a bit. That sampled guitar bit really can tweak in your head at times. It kind of moves up from behind it seems sometimes. Not sure how you did that but if unintentional it was very cool.
I am digging the bass even more now and the drums do seem to fit in better.
I'm sure after adding vocals the mix will sound a bit different again. But time will tell.
Enjoy your trip for sure.
Dec 20, 2008 08:21 pm That I will :)
I kinda know what you mean about the guitars. I have 2 tracks panned hard left and hard right. But certain chords, and I don't know if it's a "flaw" in the sample that's causing it, the freeamp2 plug-in, or how FL Studio 8 is interpreting the positions, but sometimes there's this I dunno..."Super-Stereo" effect that happens from it. Particularly the growl just after the drum solo. And yeah, it is pretty cool haha. My voice is still kinda in the gutter from the coughing, but Maybe I can get rough vocal track done up by tuesday.
Glad you're liking it. :)
Dec 20, 2008 08:56 pm Ya, its a weird, but good delay that kind of makes it move a bit or simply sound like its in odd places at times. Very cool or happy accident for sure.
Dec 23, 2008 11:36 pm Got a 20 dollar gift card for best buy from work, so I went out and bought a better mic; an Audio Technica MB3K. So...well, I got a vocal track laid out, and attempted an overdub for the chorus. Hurray for gear inspired chaos!
Disclaimer: once again, I am by no means a vocalist, but this was one of my better attempts. I'm also more used to singing choir-type stuff, so singing rock kinda feels a little out of my element. I can only hope to improve as I do more takes. Also still working out the rhythm for some of the lines, so I know that stuff needs work too. End Disclaimer
I'm still doing a bit of experimenting with effects on the vocal track, so it's not all there yet, but I think I'm heading in the right direction. I'm probably singing the chorus a little too high for what's really comfortable for me, but, practice makes perfect right?
Also...overdubbing with myself is proving MUCH more difficult than I first thought. At least keeping in time with myself. This is gonna take me a few tries hehe. I guess what's in my head didn't quite translate how I expected. Par for the course I guess. Well, that and I have no vocal training but I digress.
The track itself is coming along pretty well I think. Added a slight delay in spots for the synth lead and automated the gain to make room for the vox. I'm rendering the whole thing right now. I'm not comfortable putting this version up on the 61 what with my horrid singing, so I'll put it in my song listing here for now.
Should have it up in a few.
(I'll put the latest instrumental version up on the61 though)
-J
Dec 25, 2008 01:28 pm Sweet, I'll be giving it a listen this early this evening. Can't wait to hear were you have gotten it now.
I'm sure it'll be just fine.
Dec 26, 2008 06:42 pm Either way, its sounding cooler each time I listen to it. Even when I listen before you change anything. I'm still diggin it to say the least.
Jan 07, 2009 11:43 pm UPdated again. Little better work on the vocals this time, but I'm still woefully out of practice, not having sung since choir 3 or so years ago. Need to work on my intonation a bit methinks.
Still, a slight improvement over the last one. Same track on my profile, just re-uploaded.
-J
EDIT!
I stand corrected, apparently I'm unable to delete my song listings at the moment to put the newer version up. I'll go throw it on over at the61. Meh, I was hoping to save throwing my voice around over there until I was in better shape/practice, but well...maybe this is fate kicking my ***.
Jan 10, 2009 12:03 am I'm liking it. The chorus and the ending bit are cooler then, well just cooler.
You just need to bring em up a little as you get them closer to what you want.
Otherwise, I'm diggin it each time you update it. Gave it a couple more bumps while I was there as well.
Jan 18, 2009 03:22 pm Another update, uploaded over at the61.
This time, redone synth track with a different synth. I like the smoother tones I got from polyIblot. Slightly better/intune vocal takes. Chorus still needs to be overdubbed though.
I also uploaded and made downloadable the instrumental version, for those who find my voice a little grating hehe.
-J
Jan 19, 2009 04:43 pm The newer synth actually kind of separated itself from the mix and is ow more pronounced. It does sound different, although I did like the other tone as well, this one takes a place of its own in the mix.
Are you going to do the same type of chorus with the higher voices again? That was pretty cool.
Jan 19, 2009 06:23 pm Well, if I can get my pitch to hold, I'll give the higher voices a try again. Ah well, nothing a bit of practice/shouting at the mic can't cure eh? Heh. I kinda thought the higher voice sounded too forced, but maybe that's because it was.
I'll give it some practice and take a few more shots though, and see how it sounds.
-J
(Edit) Okay, so I went ahead and tracked the higher voice part, and I think it turned out okay. I cloned the chorus track, and panned them 66%left and right to try to fatten the sound, then added in the higher track on top, but kept it center. Think it worked pretty well actually.
I also did some more work on the vocals overall,namely a smidge of EQing, and cut the mids just a smidge to try to give them more warmth, and the extreme lows and highs a lot to try and let them cut through the mix better. Think I did a decent job. Verse 3 might need to come forward a little more, but the rest is sounding pretty good to me. I also switched back to the other synth, or something like it, but kept the current arrangement.
I think it's come along way since x-mas. Consider this Release Candidate 1. Updated at the sixtyone.
Jan 20, 2009 06:59 pm I"ll get at it a bit later or tomorrow. Time to play chauffeur I guess.
Jan 22, 2009 07:53 pm Ya, something like it. I'm not sure but it doesn't sound exactly like the original. But my memory is bad so...
Anyway, the chorus thing. I like it for sure. I gotta get another listen though, my heads a bit plugged up so I'm not catching it all.
Feb 25, 2009 01:15 am Okay, been awhile, but another update is uploaded to the61. This is Children of Pripyat RC2
I tried something a little different with the chorus which may or not have worked, but I did manage to do a better take on the timing, so it's improved on that score.
I also added a very slight phaser effect to the distorted guitar, and a little heavier effect to the synth. I'm trying to give the whole thing a little more character and color, and I think I like how it turned out. The synth in particular isn't as flat, but doesn't stand out too much against the rest.
I think i've got everything pretty much sitting decently in the mix. I may need to tame the chorus a tad though, not sure on that.
Anyway, getting close here I think. I can do more takes to try to clean up my singing on the verses and chorus if it needs it, but I don't think I'll touch much else at this stage of the game.
Next goal: getting an acoustic version going, and polished up by end of May.
Enjoy!
-J
Feb 25, 2009 01:24 pm I need to check this out, don't know why I have not yet. Tonights the night tonight :) Whooaaa ooooh oooh oooh
Feb 25, 2009 06:40 pm J-bot, I'll be in a severe lack of time until probably Sunday but will catch it for sure then. Possibly before but don't count on it.
I'm curious now with the list of things you've done on it now.
Feb 25, 2009 06:52 pm Hey man, no rush at all. It's not like there's a deadline on listening to this stuff, so you needn't feel obligated or anything hehe.
Hell, as much feedback, listening, and advice you give to other members, on top of work-related projects, I seriously feel you really go above and beyond. So no need to force yourself.
Actually, I think that last statement can apply to a lot of us here. That's probably what makes it such a great place. Especially for dark horses like myself heh. :)
Feb 26, 2009 02:35 am I thought I had commented on this awhile back (instrumental version), I know I listened several times. Even better now with the vocals. The mix sounds good overall, the bass seems to be just a bit covered up when the vocals are going can still hear it, but maybe raise it just a tiny bit. Vocals sound good, especially the verses, the chorus there are times you nailed it, and a couple spots that sound a bit held back, I would try another take or 2 and really cut loose. I really like the song, even more so now that you have the vocals in it, It's come along way and sounded great!
Dan
Feb 26, 2009 07:32 pm I work better under pressure.
Feb 26, 2009 11:54 pm Lol, well I sure as hell don't. I mean, I manage to make do, but the less stress, the better job I do I guess.
OldDog, thanks for the comment. I think you're right about the chorus. Honestly I like how the verses turned out overall, cept my singing kinda slips a little every now and again. Time and practice should improve that though. The chorus is the one thing that I just can't seem to leave alone. The harmonizing also bugs me a tad, but I've got some ideas on that I'll try Sunday...er...fiancee willing hehe.
Also, on the mixing itself, I tried recording mono, but for some reason, panning left kills the signal on the vocal. Wonder if it's a setting I had accidently switched on while recording. Been using Audacity since I don't have the version of FL Studio that actually allows use of recording. I'll upgrade after I get a job in Iowa though.
Anyway, I'll have to take another go at it. What SHOULD be happening is the lower part of the chorus being layered, and panned hard left and right, and the upper part being straight center. It's probably just something simple that I overlooked, and should be an easy fix.
I'll give it another take for sure, and really try to belt those notes out there. For the bass, it's probably that Antress Deep Purple plugin that tamed it a bit too much. Should be an easy fix to boost it back up a smidge. I kinda noticed it lost a little of its punch (drums too) in the last version or 2.
Only other thing I'll touch is playing around with bootsy's epicVerb plugin. It's got some really nice options and I really like the sound of some of the settings. I wanna give that a try and see how it compares to good ol' Classic Reverb.
Anyway, I should be off to dreamland before work, and picking my fiancee up at the airport tomorrow, so I'll hop back later this weekend.
Ciao!
-J
Mar 01, 2009 03:11 pm I finally figured out what this reminds me slightly of.
A very early David Burn with Talking Heads. Its more the vocal were you stretch to reach the note that really reminds me of that. Very cool, as I just could not put my finger on it.
And by the way, that is a good thing sounding like that in my book.
I'm liking the way the breakdown is now. It sounds very live with a lot of separation between instruments. I'll agree the bottom end needs a bit more punch back. Not a big dose, just enough to get it out again from behind the guitar.
As I stated, I'm liking it more each time you tweak it a bit.
Mar 22, 2009 05:58 pm Hey guys, a new revision is up on t61/jbot. I've tried to put back some oomph in the bass to get it out from the guitars, and I think I did a decent job on that score. Just hope I didn't put -too- much oomph back.
I re-tracked the chorus and just tried to let loose. I think I did a decent job of that this time. I think I may have tracked just a smidge on the hot side, or sang too close to the mic. not sure, but it sounds better than it did :-)
Have at it!
-J
Mar 22, 2009 06:16 pm Nope, the bass sounds good as is now. Its got a nice presence even during the chorus. And the chorus, although you know I always liked it because of the Talking Heads kind of feel it had. Which to me is what give this tune its character.
I think it sound dandy now with the chorus having a bit more ballsy sound to it.
I'm liking this one for sure.
Mar 22, 2009 11:37 pm Thanks a lot. Noize, as always your (and others too) feedback is always appreciated. Honestly I don't think I should touch it anymore hehe. I think right now it's got a good tone, and a fairly warm sound since I beefed up the bass. As you said, the instrument placement is pretty good, and actually when I went back to adjust the levels, I noticed I had a couple of the channels that I must have accidentally activated the send on another channel, so there were some odd things happening. I cleaned those up and readjusted the levels appropriately, and I think that helped a bit.
The rest was just adjusting the EQ plug-in on the master bus, and for the record I'm using epicVerb now instead of classic. I think it does an excellent job at keeping things nice and clear, and giving it that feel tripps likes as "not noticing it's there until it isn't" Which I think is a good way of saying "less is more"
Anyway, I think I've officially hit the point of "don't touch it for fear of ******* something up" .... that and I don't want to spend another hour and a half waiting for the bloody thing to render if I do change something LOL!
Now I get to figure out how I want to do the acoustic version lol!
Again, thanks for the input. It is invaluable.
-J-bot
Mar 23, 2009 09:16 pm An acoustic Version should be interesting to say the least.
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