is this melody 'memorable' or not?
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Posted on Jul 13, 2006 01:33 am
fortymile
Member Since: Jan 18, 2003
there's a new song (sort of) in my profile. called airlock. i've had it around for about a year, but just figured out a strategy for the prechorus the other day.
a friend said 'the melody is not memorable,' but she writes a completely different style of music, not rock at all. anyway, i thought otherwise, but now i dont know what to think. my original thinking was that everything is fine other than lines 2 and 4 of the chorus, which just kind of meander. if the whole melody is not memorable, though, i might have to change things. *shrug.* this is just the first thing that came to me.
i now own BFD drums and am quite happy. did a freelance job with my eye on these things, and i'm never going back to mouse input again.
the lyrics to this song are weird. i just needed something to sing so i could do a quick recording. uncle dude himself contributed (though this is not a UD song)
hey
the astronomer of your eyes
this rocket ship it won't fly
come along into my airlock baby, yeah
gonna take a ride away
gonna fly to outer space
got a moon for you and it shines above
lay down your medals
and find something to eat
extract the finders and feelers
i might be one lately
these magazines are soft as %$@#
won't you like some big wine?
hawaiian germs and coconuts
bring it home to sammy
try
not to build
in this property
we will live in huts
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olddogMember
Since: Jul 02, 2003
Jul 13, 2006 02:17 am I like it... alot actually. :) I'm having trouble hearing all of the melody, your vox are getting drowned out in parts but I think you've got an excellent song going. I really like your voice in this. Stop procrastinating and really do this one up to the >end<. ;)
Dan
Jul 13, 2006 07:26 am Your friend is wrong! :-) I find the melody quite catchy. Like OldDog said, it does get pushed way back at times, but from what I can hear I like it very much. I think that the lyrics are fantactic.
Can't wait to hear it done up right.
Jim
Jul 13, 2006 01:28 pm ok thnaks guys. now that ive fixed the structure issues, its an arrangement thing. ill throw a solo in there, maybe before verse two, since it seems to call for that. then ill need some kind of short pause or transition back into the next verse which will be identical musically...because the solo seems like it should come over the verse material. hmmm. this might have to be a weird structure. im thinking solo over verse two, then right back into the prechorus and chorus, then turn the last part of the song maybe into an outro chorus with a slightly different melody using the verse music. not sure what else to do.
and yeah, i had to mix this thing really quick, so stuff does get drowned out, expecially in the prechorus, where only i can hear it, probably. but thanks for listenin!
Noize2uCzar of MidiAdministrator
Since: Apr 04, 2002
Jul 13, 2006 08:35 pm Again very trippy sounding. I like the uniform wandering of the vocals. They do actually go someplace. It is definately not hap hazard or wonderlust at all.
I love the way the lyrics sort of melt together as it seems it is building up, but never really does. Which is good as it leaves the listener waitng to hear whats next.
Cant wait to hear where you go with this.
Noize
Jul 13, 2006 10:17 pm im not sure where you mean where you say it seems its building up but never does. where is that?
Noize2uCzar of MidiAdministrator
Since: Apr 04, 2002
Jul 13, 2006 10:54 pm No just the way it progresses. I get the feeling that it might go another direction but it doesn't. Thats a good thing not a bad thing. It keeps the listener hanging and listening harder with more intent. Even on the 3rd listen I was still catching that feeling. Maybe it was the wating for as you stated a solo section or something. Either way, I liked it as it is. But adding the parts you talked about will add even more to it.
I will try and pinpoint the parts that feel like that tommorrow though. I'm heading for the couch.
Jul 14, 2006 12:24 am yeah, i gotta agree man, it's funny cuz i was just thinkin' "it feels like it's always peaking....ya need to mellow it out a bit somewhere and rebuild to a peak (the tool is commin' out in me sorry) but it WAS very good...ESPICIALLY them f'n drums! that intro is the nuts. but for some reason, right when the vocals come in....they loose their balls...i'm thinking it's a compression thing that's dooin' it BUT, i'm listening on a not so great dell 4.1 setup...but the subwoofer stops workin at the exact same point in time and never comes back *listening a second time through* but got if you're smackin' a limiter with some drum tracks, i'd back off as much as i could....maybe ease up on the overall gain reduction...notch all things not percussion a bit (i am just now realizing this dosn't take much at all to gain clarity i'm ususally around -4 on dist. guitars.
all in all i really dig where this is heading.
may the schwartz be wit'you
Jul 14, 2006 12:46 am i gotta explain: this is just a verse, prechorus, and chorus. and i mixed it and sang it in five minutes. the vocals are extremely low because boosting them trampled on everything else and i had no time to really work it (this is also why the chorus lyrics suck). it's nowhere near done, especially the mix. this will be way more forceful and the vocals louder, once i decide on what to sing in the chorus.
i posted it because im getting criticism about the chorus melody. most people i've polled think that its not memorable, and im starting to agree. the chorus is the part that comes after that chord where the song just 'hangs' for a second, and the problem as i see it is that the verse (and prechorus) is hookier than the chorus itself. the chorus feels like a let down. BUT the chords of the chorus are the ones that have to stay. i spent a long time trying to get a prechorus to connect to that chorus so that i could use the background 'woah oh oh's' which is part of the chorus hook. probably about 6 months of noodling, and nothing would ever work. the 'hanging' chord is a iv minor, which is out of the song's key, and which acts as a doorway to the first chord of the chorus. i think that first chord is a different key than the rest of the song or, if not, its modal mixing going on. i didnt analyze it, but you can tell when the chorus ends and the verse begins again: it feels like it jumps up an energy level, but it doesnt: its the same verse as before. thats the effect from moving out of this slightly different key or episode of modal mixing.
so im really loathe to ditch the chorus, even if the song doesnt technically need one. (some people say the chorus might be completely unnecessary). im getting mad at this song and mad at my critics, because i hate to admit it but i think theyre right. i dont like songs that have a 'wandering melody' that doesnt do any harmonic work. i think i need to change the chorus melody on either line one or three and give it a sustained, dramatic note.
Jul 14, 2006 12:51 am oh, and wyd,
i'm sensitive to tool aesthetics too, but sometimes i have this thing i do: i write pop rock songs. i want to keep them at about three minutes most the time. and one of the things ive started to do is, for example, jumping right into the verse with no time to hear the riff alone first. my friend disagrees with that. she wants me to let the verse riff play for a while first, but recently i've been doing everything i can to make songs sound more urgent. i think my burgeoning aesthetic is to write songs that sound like you just can't wait to get them out of you. to me this leads to things like cutting measures short, adding strange pauses and then jumping back in, all sorts of things to ramp up the energy.
i hope its working. sometimes i just cannot tell. i thought it was risky to 'go quiet' for two bars in the prechorus, but i just thought that that part where the distortion kicks back in in the middle of it was too good to pass up.
Noize2uCzar of MidiAdministrator
Since: Apr 04, 2002
Jul 14, 2006 07:44 pm forty, I personally like the arrangement as it is. IT just feels right as you stated. I think loosing any of the modal mixing would change the entire feel of the song. The structure is what keeps the exitement going for me at least. I say f the other critiques and do what you feel fits. And if it is an odd key change, then so be it. That is the main reason I throw theory to the wind 9 times out of 10. Because if I try to write and stick with a proven formula it never works for me. Sure I can write a friggin pop tune without even trying, but that isnt what makes me happy. I prefer the unconventional and most times untheoretical approach. If I can toss some parts together that normally wouldnt be a good musical form, and it sounds good. Then I am happy.
So yes, everything you have happening in that song so far is doing exactly what you want it to do.
IF you are familier with the little bit of a Beatles tune Shes so Heavy it almost has that kind of feel to it. Its building up, but its not. The tension keeps building, if only mentally for the listener. But that is exactly the point. You dont loose the listener with some radical change. But the listener feels as though they are being pulled in by a building drama that isnt really there. You have achieved that. I have listened many times now, and find myself not able to stop the song in mid play. It makes me stay tuned and listen all the way through for fear I might miss something.
I hope I'm not being confusing with this. The point is, what you have done so far is working very well to keep the song moving dramatically along. Without being over done.
Jul 14, 2006 09:48 pm that is good to hear then, thanks for listening and putting the time in, noize. that helps me to get opinions from all sides like that. i will keep the arrangement as it is and add in the rest of the song now, and the only other thing i will do is to play around with the chorus melody just to make sure there's not something better i'm missing.
and i will listen to she's so heavy. i have it here somewhere.
olddogMember
Since: Jul 02, 2003
Jul 14, 2006 11:27 pm I was going to post last night basically what Noize just told you but it was late so I headed for bed. :D As you said in your first post the "critic" doesn't even write your type of music, so I think you have take that opinion (and that's all it is) with a grain of salt. Any who looking forward to the finished project.
Dan
Jul 14, 2006 11:57 pm Forty, dig it, it reminds me of something but I can't put my finger on it . . Anyways, consider solidifying the more subtle parts / transitions and I think you'll have a gem. I know its a scratch so take that with a grain of salt.. nice writes.
TadpuiI am not a crook's headMember
Since: Mar 14, 2003
Jul 15, 2006 09:03 pm I agree Forty, I think that it all works together. I like the guitar parts, and the vocal melody is good. This doesn't sound like a song that 'needs' a super melodic feel to it. Definitely keep the train rolling on this one, I think its totally worthy.
The lyrics are a little disjointed, but I'm more into that that I was. I'm all for ambiguity in lyrics, the impressionist painting kind of strategy. But you could probably pull them together a little more.
It sounds great man, I'll be watching for updates!
Jul 16, 2006 01:27 pm only lyrics i like are the verse lyrics. after that, i enlisted the actual uncle dude. i told him to just make up anything for the syllable patterns i gave him, just so i could have something to sing. so the lyrics will be changing too, assuming i can find something i want to say.
tanks
Noize2uCzar of MidiAdministrator
Since: Apr 04, 2002
Jul 16, 2006 03:00 pm Call me weired but I kinda like the flow of the lyrics he put in there. They might be a bit off but they kind of fit. But I am sure you will find something more to your liking then.
Jul 16, 2006 05:09 pm they do seem to mean something, but this was unintentional. the prechorus and chorus seem to make it into a song that makes fun of the single lifestyle, and the tendency to avoid depth. kind of mocks it.
Noize2uCzar of MidiAdministrator
Since: Apr 04, 2002
Jul 16, 2006 07:03 pm I'm gonna hve to listen again now while reading the lyrics. I'm not sure that is how I percieved it, but you may be right.
CptTrippsCzar of Turd PolishMember
Since: Jun 20, 2006
Jul 19, 2006 12:46 pm I listened last night and thought is was very catchy. Can't wait for the mixdown so I can actually hear everything but yeah, the basis of the song sounds cool.
